[3404] in Humor
Fwd: Some Puns Pour Vous
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Me)
Tue Feb 6 13:53:19 2001
Message-Id: <4.3.2.7.2.20010206135125.02779888@po14.mit.edu>
Date: Tue, 06 Feb 2001 13:52:34 -0500
To: humor@mit.edu
From: Me <jerrod@alum.mit.edu>
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Some old ones, but one or two I'd not heard before. :)
-jerrod
>Sent: February 5, 2001 9:46:52 PM GMT
>Subject: Fwd: Some Puns Pour Vous
>
>
> >1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The
> > stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one
> > carrion allowed per passenger."
> >
> > 2. Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low
> > earth orbit? They called it the "herd shot 'round the world".
> >
> > 3. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
> > became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
> > never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
> > lesser of two weevils.
> >
> > 4. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire
> > in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak
> > and heat it, too.
> >
> > 5. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up
> > to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
> >
> > 6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
> > canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
> >
> > 7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
> > in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
> > victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and
> > asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as
> > they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts
> > boasting in an open foyer."
> >
> > 8. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
> > to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in
> > Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a
> > picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she
> > tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her
> > husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
> > Amal."
> >
> > 9. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up
> > a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
> > from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
> > was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would
> > not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
> > ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
> > and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up
> > the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
> > close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and
> > only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
> >
> > 10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
> > friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
> > laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
