[3403] in Humor

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Ham Sandwich

daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Wed Jan 31 17:13:59 2001

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Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2001 17:07:23 -0500
From: Andrew Bennett <abennett@irobot.com>
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From a friend...

-Drew

"Ham Sandwiches"
> As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun,
> crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.  The
> corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table
> in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife
> suddenly at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my
> sandwich," she said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder
> and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of
> mustard on my fingers.
> I love mustard.
> I had no napkin.
> I licked it off.
> It was not mustard.
> 
> No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have
> sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did
> the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue. Later
> (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard), my wife said, "Now you
> know why they call that mustard 'Poupon.'"
> 
>

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