[3397] in Humor
Enough is enough...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Grisha Golberg)
Tue Jan 23 15:29:31 2001
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2001 15:05:38 -0500 (EST)
From: Grisha Golberg <junta@giganda.komkon.org>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Message-Id: <Pine.BSF.4.21.0101231504480.63221-100000@giganda.komkon.org>
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GENEVA (AP) - After a long and productive meeting, President
Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin have agreed
to relaunch the Cold War.
This bold joint policy of two superpowers has largely
deteriorated since the late 80s, said the sources close
to the leaders.
The Presidents agreed to the renewal of the policy in order
to boost their respective armed forces and military industry,
that have lately been feeling financial pinch as well
as sagging morale.
"We are happy that we have reached consensus in this highly
sensitive matter," said President Putin. "This triumph of
good will and diplomacy will assure that for years to come
America, this evil empire that is the bastion of greedy capitalist
imperialism, will be kept in check by our interests."
"Yup", seconded his sentiments President Bush. "Yes sirree!"
The plan calls for gradual and reciprocal invasions of
Afghanistan and Vietnam and the rebuilding of the Berlin Wall.
Incidentally, the Russian word for "rebuilding" is "perestroika".
The plan is designed to be rolled out slowly but steadily,
and is very thorough, specifying for Olympic boycotts and
mandatory sentences for dissidents.
The Cuban missile crisis is planned for 2008.
CIA director and head of KGB will be meeting shortly in The
Hague to iron out the complex issues of deploying hundreds
of newly recruited spies on enemy territories.
"We are confident that this move will bring about unprecedented
new developments", cheerfully but ambiguously said President
Putin.
"What the fuck?" said the spokesman for the European
Parliament.
