[3371] in Humor
Humor: Pentagon Phrase Book
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew B. Greytak)
Fri Nov 24 08:11:12 2000
Date: Fri, 24 Nov 2000 08:12:13 -0500
To: humor@mit.edu
From: "Andrew B. Greytak" <agreytak@MIT.EDU>
>
>Pentagon Phrase Book
>
>What Pentagon officials say -
> And what they really mean:
>
>Essentially Complete
> It's half done
>
>We predict...
> We hope to God!
>
>Risk is high but within acceptable ranges of risk:
> 100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the
> people we said we'd employ.
>
>Potential show stopper:
> The team has updated their resumes.
>
>Serious but not insurmountable problems:
> It'll take a miracle...
>
>Basic agreement has been reached:
> The @##$%%'s won't even talk to us.
>
>Results are being quantified:
> We're massaging the numbers so that they will agree with our
> conclusions.
>
>Task force to review:
> 7 people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been
> loaned to the project
>
>Not well defined at this time:
> Nobody's even thought about it.
>
>Still analyzing the requirements:
> See previous answer.
>
>Not well understood:
> Now that we've thought about it, we don't want to think about
> it anymore
>
>Requires further analysis and management attention:
> Totally out of control!
>
>Results are promising:
> Turned power on and no smoke detected - this time...
>
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Andrew Bardeen Greytak, MIT '00
<agreytak@mit.edu>
169 Rindge Ave
Cambridge, Massachusetts
