[3232] in Humor
FWD: Because I'm a Man
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Michael K)
Mon Jun 26 15:33:13 2000
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2000 12:30:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: Michael K <misha37@yahoo.com>
To: humor@mit.edu
An classic favorite.
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Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car
I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore
your suggestions that we call a road service
until long after hypothermia has set in.
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Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running
very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine
as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man
shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be
able to fix these things, but now with all these computers
and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.
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Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need
someone to bring me soup and take care of me while
I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do,
so for you this isn't an issue
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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to
purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk
or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
like "Cumin" or "Tofu" For all I know these are the same
thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to
pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product"
is a euphemism.
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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances
stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite
evidence that this will just cost me twice as much
once the repair person gets here and has to put it
back together.
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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television
remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If
the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it (though one time I was able to
survive by holding a calculator).
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Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that
lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask
someone. Why would you listen to a complete
stranger-I mean, how the hell could he know
where we're going?
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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me
what I'm thinking about. The answer is always
either sex, racing or football, though I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't.
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Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your
mother, or have your mother come visit us, or
talk to her when she calls, or think about her
any more than I have to. Whatever you got her
for mother's day is okay, I don't need to see it.
And don't forgotten pick up something for my Mom
too!!
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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I
liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the
end of it, I didn't.
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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is
fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes
ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With
the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You
look fine. Can we just go now?
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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the
year 2000, I will share equally in the housework.
You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do
the rest.
~ This has been ~
A public Service message for Women, to better understand the Male
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