[3216] in Humor
Fwd: [Fwd: Fwd: Beauty and the Beast - College Style]
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Matthew Schiller)
Thu May 18 16:09:07 2000
Resent-From: matt2002@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 16:04:34 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Matthew Schiller <matt2002@MIT.EDU>
>Resent-Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 15:43:12 -0400 (Eastern Daylight Time)
>Resent-From: morrigan18@hotmail.com
>X-Originating-Ip: [172.155.211.227]
>From: "Anna Calkins" <morrigan18@hotmail.com>
>To: Matt2002@MIT.EDU, x_o_fir@hotmail.com, thescottishguy@aol.com,
> xanthus66@aol.com, bflasher@cruzio.com
>Subject: Fwd: [Fwd: Fwd: Beauty and the Beast - College Style]
>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 12:42:32 PDT
>
>
>
>
>
>From: Michael Pratt <mjpratt@cats.ucsc.edu>
>Reply-To: mjpratt@cats.ucsc.edu
>To: Anna Calkins <morrigan18@hotmail.com>
>Subject: [Fwd: Fwd: Beauty and the Beast - College Style]
>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 12:36:39 -0700
>
>Enjoy : )
>
> Sung to the tune of
> Beauty and the Beast's "Be our guest"
> Abbreviation glossary:
> P: Professors
> S1, S2, S3: Distinct students
> S: Students in unison
> TA: Teaching assistant
>
> P: Ma chere tuition-payers, it is with deepest sadism and greatest
> power that we welcome you this morning. And now, we require you to
> get tense, let us pull up a chair, as the faculty proudly presents
>-
> your final!
>
> P: Take your test
> Take your test
> Are you nervous? Are you stressed?
> Winter's just around the corner now
> We love this time the best
> Physics laws
> English lit.
> Why, you'll never want to quit
> What's the formula for vinyl?
> Don't you love to take a final!
> Classic film
> Modern dance
> All the kings and queens of France
> You'll be writing with such energy and zest
> Go on and take some blue books
> You'll at least need two books
> Take your test
> Fake your test
> Take your test
>
> World War I
> World War II
> You'll be chugging Mountain Dew
> As you scram back home to cram
> And stay awake the whole night through
> If you're here
> And you're scared
> Then you're prob'ly unprepared
> Don't tell me about your party
> You should study, Mr. Smarty
> Distant stars
> Shakespeare's plays
> Let us run you through our maze
> S1: Did you ever get the feeling we're oppressed?
> P: Don't question our regime
> How could you dare blaspheme?
> Now take your test
> (You've B.S.ed,
> But you'd rather say you've "guessed")
> Take your test
> Take your test
> Take your test
>
> Life's all smiles and smirking
> For a student who's not working
> It's a gas without a class to load him down
> Ah, those good old days way back in grade school
> Suddenly he wants his cap and gown
> While he's been busy learning
> Curiosity's been burning
> What's it like to have a minute to himself?
> He won't know 'til after graduation
> They came here so lazy
> Now we're driving them all crazy!
>
>
> S1: It's a test!
> S2: It's a test
> S3: This can't be! I still need rest!
> P: You want sleep, you little creep?
> That's very good. That's quite a jest
> Ancient worlds
> Complex math
> And we won't withhold our wrath
> Yes, we'll give you quite a beating
> If we catch you while you're cheating
> Chinese art
> Civil E.
> Anesthesiology
> S3: Help me please! I'm having cardiac arrest!
> S1: Somebody check his heart!
> P: Then label every part!
> It's on your test
> S: That's our test?
> P: That's your test
> S: What a pest!
>
> TA: Here's a test
> There's a test
> I'm so very much depressed
> Have to grade each one of these in just a day
> And I'm hard-pressed!
> Biochem
> Japanese
> Why our "quarters" come in threes
> While the deadline still is looming
> I'll keep grading
> I'll keep fuming
>
> P: Course by course
> One by one
> 'Til you shout, "This isn't fun!"
> Then we'll laugh at every place that you digressed
> We've done our best to pester
> See you next semester!
> Take your test
> Take your test
> Take your test
> Now, take your test
>
>
> (C) 1996 by Jason Knight. This work may be freely
> distributed in its unmodified form. Comments welcome. Mountain
>Dew
> is a brand name of the Pepsi-Cola Company.
>
>________________________________________________________________________
>Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com
>
