[3204] in Humor
Ways to Die
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Brian T Sniffen)
Mon May 8 19:56:28 2000
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Brian T Sniffen <brians@MIT.EDU>
Date: 08 May 2000 19:56:12 -0400
Two friends waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to
death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man.
"You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes.
But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of
drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was
cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to
the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement,
but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but
no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic,
and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."
The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be
alive."
