[3185] in Humor
computer terms
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Beth Dubeck)
Mon Apr 24 00:47:29 2000
Date: Mon, 24 Apr 2000 00:50:12 -0400
To: jbenincasa@sprynet.com, CCaaders@aol.com, cmccall@bu.edu,
David.T.McCall.9@nd.edu, oymrome@dreamscape.com, pbdubeck@CYBERNEX.NET,
fdubeck@borg.com, mkmccall@aol.com, t99cat@aol.com, juniper267@aol.com,
Centra@moa.bc.edu, ariels@mit.edu, ruadh@mit.edu, paulhanley@juno.com,
x0tkenn@vm.stlawu.edu, <tcvanesi@yahoo.com>, tuba_on_skis@hotmail.com,
humor@mit.edu
From: Beth Dubeck <bdubeck@MIT.EDU>
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ANALOG: Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed
nuts. Served at parties.
BAR CHART: A list of places to go to when it's Miller time.
BIT: Similar to a nibble. Commonly eight nibbles in a mouthful. See Byte.
BUBBLE MEMORY: A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's
intelligence. See also Vacuum Tube.
BYTE: A mouthful, as in "How many bytes in a Big Mac?"
CHARACTER DENSITY: The number of very weird people in your office.
CHIP: Any number of small crunchy objects often served with onion dip.
CODE: Usually lasts three to five days, accompanied by a sore throat and
runny nose.
COMMAND: Statement presented by a human and accepted by the computer in
such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.
COMPILE: A heap of decomposed vegetable matter.
CURSOR: An expert in the use of four-letter words.
DEBUG: The act of placing shoe leather against a small creeping creature.
FLOPPY DISCS: A defect occurring in all 1982 disc drives, necessitating a
factory recall.
GLITCH: Scientific name for the little balls of fuzz that collect in navels.
HARDWARE: Typically boots, leather, and chains. Contrast with Software.
INTERFACE: The opposite of "Getouttamyface".
K: A term used in employment ads to disguise how much they are really
willing to pay.
KEY-PUNCHING: An activity similar in many aspects to cowpoking.
MEGAHERTZ: A very large car rental company.
MODEM: A contraction. Commonly used as in "Give me modem cookies."
NETWORK: The occupation of a fisherman.
OUTPUT: What people who talk backwards do with their cat.
RAM: A male sheep with horns.
REAL-TIME: Here and now, as opposed to fake time which only occurs there
and then.
ROM: A Ram after a delicate operation.
SEMI-CONDUCTOR: A person hired to lead an orchestra before he has graduated
from the famous director's school.
SERIAL PROCESSING: The procedure through which corn flakes are arrived.
SOFTWARE: Typically silk nightgowns, nylons: contrast with Hardware.
TRANSISTOR: A sibling: e.g. a transbrother.
VACUUM TUBE: A derogatory term. See Bubble memory.
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<b>ANALOG</b>: Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with
crushed nuts. Served at parties. <br>
<b>BAR CHART</b>: A list of places to go to when it's Miller time. <br>
<b>BIT</b>: Similar to a nibble. Commonly eight nibbles in a mouthful.
See Byte. <br>
<b>BUBBLE MEMORY</b>: A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's
intelligence. See also Vacuum Tube. <br>
<b>BYTE</b>: A mouthful, as in "How many bytes in a Big Mac?"
<br>
<b>CHARACTER DENSITY</b>: The number of very weird people in your office.
<br>
<b>CHIP</b>: Any number of small crunchy objects often served with onion
dip. <br>
<b>CODE</b>: Usually lasts three to five days, accompanied by a sore
throat and runny nose. <br>
<b>COMMAND</b>: Statement presented by a human and accepted by the
computer in such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in
control. <br>
<b>COMPILE</b>: A heap of decomposed vegetable matter. <br>
<b>CURSOR</b>: An expert in the use of four-letter words. <br>
<b>DEBUG</b>: The act of placing shoe leather against a small creeping
creature. <br>
<b>FLOPPY DISCS</b>: A defect occurring in all 1982 disc drives,
necessitating a factory recall. <br>
<b>GLITCH</b>: Scientific name for the little balls of fuzz that collect
in navels. <br>
<b>HARDWARE</b>: Typically boots, leather, and chains. Contrast with
Software. <br>
<b>INTERFACE</b>: The opposite of "Getouttamyface". <br>
<b>K</b>: A term used in employment ads to disguise how much they are
really willing to pay. <br>
<b>KEY-PUNCHING</b>: An activity similar in many aspects to cowpoking.
<br>
<b>MEGAHERTZ</b>: A very large car rental company. <br>
<b>MODEM</b>: A contraction. Commonly used as in "Give me modem
cookies." <br>
<b>NETWORK</b>: The occupation of a fisherman. <br>
<b>OUTPUT</b>: What people who talk backwards do with their cat. <br>
<b>RAM</b>: A male sheep with horns. <br>
<b>REAL-TIME</b>: Here and now, as opposed to fake time which only occurs
there and then. <br>
<b>ROM</b>: A Ram after a delicate operation. <br>
<b>SEMI-CONDUCTOR</b>: A person hired to lead an orchestra before he has
graduated from the famous director's school. <br>
<b>SERIAL PROCESSING</b>: The procedure through which corn flakes are
arrived. <br>
<b>SOFTWARE</b>: Typically silk nightgowns, nylons: contrast with
Hardware. <br>
<b>TRANSISTOR</b>: A sibling: e.g. a transbrother. <br>
<b>VACUUM TUBE</b>: A derogatory term. See Bubble memory.<br>
<br>
</html>
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