[3181] in Humor
A childhood favorite
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Brian T Sniffen)
Sat Apr 22 15:24:41 2000
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Brian T Sniffen <brians@MIT.EDU>
Date: 22 Apr 2000 15:24:32 -0400
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
L.A. POLICE DEPT: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken
did not cross the road. I do not know any chickens. I have never known any
chickens.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road, Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken Coop 99, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook-and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with "THAT" chicken!
