[3161] in Humor
Humor: Computer Literate?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Tue Apr 4 19:51:03 2000
Date: Tue, 04 Apr 2000 19:39:30 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
kris@speechcode.com, jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU,
mtsai@bqa.com, immer@MIT.EDU, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com,
bmendell@mediaone.net, nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu, Courtney Nichols <crnichol@fas.harvard.edu>,
wthtx@aol.com, "mbullet@fas.harvard.edu" <mbullet@fas.harvard.edu>
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>From: "LeBlanc, Paul N (GEAE)" <Paul.N.LeBlanc@ae.ge.com>
>To: "'Marc Jean'" <lindamarc@juno.com>,
> "'Dooley Family'"
> <ddooley@mediaone.net>,
> "Gingras, Jack (GEAE)" <jack.gingras@ae.ge.com>,
> "'Sharalee M. Field'" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>,
> "Vicari, Kenneth (GEAE)" <Kenneth.Vicari@ae.ge.com>,
> "Lasden, Janis (GEAE)" <janis.lasden@ae.ge.com>
>Subject: FW: Computer Literate?
>Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2000 12:22:35 -0400
>X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.5.2650.21)
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Bell, Paulette W (PS, Services)
>Sent: Tuesday, April 04, 2000 11:45 AM
>To: Angela O'Brien; Billie S. Parker; Bjorklund, Marlowe; Connie
>Wilkinson; Hooker, Carol; jo'brien@siventoinc.com; LeBlanc, Paul;
>Michele Yarbrough
>Subject: FW: Computer Literate?
>
>
>----- > Subject: Computer Literate?
>>
>>
>> > So you think you're computer-illiterate? Check out the following
excerpts
>> > from a Wall Street Journal article.
>> >
>> > 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press any key" to "Press
>> > the Enter key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "any" key
>> > is.
>> >
>> > 2. Gateway support had a caller complain that her mouse was hard to
>> > control with the dust cover on. The dust cover turned out to be the
>> > plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
>> >
>> > 3. A Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the
>> > system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes.
After
>> > troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it
>> > was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes and then rolled
>> > them into the typewriter to type the labels.
>> >
>> > 4. Another Gateway customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
>> > diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
with
>> > Xeroxed copies of the diskettes.
>> >
>> > 5. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy
back in
>> > the drive and close the door. The customer asked the technician to hold
>> > on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the
>> > room to close the door to his office.
>> >
>> > 6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
>> > fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
>> > discovered that the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding
it in front
>> > of the monitor and pressing the "Send" key.
>> >
>> > 7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a
>> > technician suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a
couple
>> > of friends," the customer replied. When told that Egghead was a software
>> > store, the man said "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of
>> > geeks."
>> >
>> > 8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
>> > longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling his tub with soap and water
>> > and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
>> > washing them individually.
>> >
>> > 9. A Gateway technician spoke to a customer who was enraged because his
>> > computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The technician
>> > explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid entry"
>> > responses shouldn't be taken personally.
>> >
>> > 10. An exasperated caller to Dell couldn't get her new computer to turn
>> > on. After making sure the computer was plugged in, the technician asked
>> > her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response was "I
>> > pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot
>> > pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
>> >
>> > 11. A customer called Compaq to say her brand new computer wouldn't
work.
>> > She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20
minutes
>> > waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she
>> > pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
>> >
>> > 12. This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied"
message
>> > every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and
>> > password in capital letters. Tech Support: OK, let's try once more, but
>> > use lower case letters. Customer "Uh, I only have capital letters on my
>> > keyboard."
>> >
>> > 13. True story from a Novell NetWire technician: Caller: "The cup holder
>> > on my PC is broken and I'm within my warranty period. How do I get it
>> > fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" Caller: "Yes,
>> > it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me if I
>> > seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did your receive this as part
of a
>> > promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it
>> > have any trademark on it?" Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't
know
>> > anything about a promotional. It just has '32X.' on it." At this
point the
>> > technician had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The
>> > caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup
>> > holder, and had snapped it off the drive!
>> >
>> > Admit it, you feel just little superior after reading these, don't you?
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>
---------------------------------------------------------------
Sharalee M. Field, Planning Analyst
Faculty of Arts and Sciences Planning Office
Harvard University
Ph: 617.495.8257 Fax: 617.495.7881
