[3088] in Humor
Fwd: Angel's Joke List
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Matthew Schiller)
Fri Jan 28 08:46:51 2000
Resent-From: matt2002@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2000 08:47:38 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Matthew Schiller <matt2002@MIT.EDU>
>Resent-Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2000 02:44:12 -0500 (Eastern Daylight Time)
>Resent-From: gsangel@lightspeed.net
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>Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2000 23:31:13 -0800
>To: gsangel@lightspeed.net
>From: Angel <gsangel@lightspeed.net>
>Subject: Angel's Joke List
>
>***********************
>Joke of the Day - Thump....
>
> A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would
>see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer
>walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a
>loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road. One day, as the
>truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he
>would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
> He asked the priest, " Where are you going, Father?".
> "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road!", replied the priest.
> "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."
> The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver
>continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down
>the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered
>there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved
>back to the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was
>certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD."
> Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors
> and
>when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry
>Father. I almost hit that lawyer."
> "That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door!
>-----------------------
>++++++++++++++++++++ Funny-Bone ++++++++++++++++++++
>
>- Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
>- Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can't it get us out?
>- Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you
> just sit there.
>- There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse
> every year.
>- People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them
> that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
>- It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
>- I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.
>- It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
>- If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
>- I am a nutritional overachiever.
>- My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
>- I am having an out of money experience.
>- Not afraid of heights -- afraid of widths.
>- Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
>- Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges,
> but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
>- You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a
> rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
>- It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody
> bothers to ask you the questions.
>- The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing
> at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing
> at the tempting moment.
>- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
>- Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.
>
>HAND! Have A Nice Day!
>
><>< I BELIEVE IN ANGELS!!!! (\o/\o/) gsangel@lightspeed.net
> /_\/_\
>http://userzweb.lightspeed.net/~gsangel
>May you always have an Angel on your shoulder and love in your
>heart!
>
>
