[3074] in Humor
Humor: Pentagon Phrase Book
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Victor P. Morales)
Tue Jan 11 11:29:37 2000
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2000 09:27:06 -0700 (MST)
From: "Victor P. Morales" <morpheus@alum.mit.edu>
Reply-To: morpheus@alum.mit.edu
To: Humor At MIT <humor@MIT.EDU>
Pentagon Phrase Book
What Pentagon officials say -
And what they really mean:
Essentially Complete
It's half done
We predict...
We hope to God!
Risk is high but within acceptable ranges of risk:
100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the
people we said we'd employ.
Potential show stopper:
The team has updated their resumes.
Serious but not insurmountable problems:
It'll take a miracle...
Basic agreement has been reached:
The @##$%%'s won't even talk to us.
Results are being quantified:
We're massaging the numbers so that they will agree with our
conclusions.
Task force to review:
7 people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been
loaned to the project
Not well defined at this time:
Nobody's even thought about it.
Still analyzing the requirements:
See previous answer.
Not well understood:
Now that we've thought about it, we don't want to think about
it anymore
Requires further analysis and management attention:
Totally out of control!
Results are promising:
Turned power on and no smoke detected - this time...
