[3053] in Humor
Humor: Speeding Jokes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Victor P. Morales)
Wed Dec 29 13:04:36 1999
Date: Wed, 29 Dec 1999 11:02:22 -0700 (MST)
From: "Victor P. Morales" <morpheus@alum.mit.edu>
Reply-To: morpheus@alum.mit.edu
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Here are a couple of amusing ways to either get out of a ticket, or get
arrested. Use at your own peril.
---------- Forwarded message #1 ---------
A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice
evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was
left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue
lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to
himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... then the
reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought
and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it
and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and it's
Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me
an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a
cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
---------- Forwarded message #2 ---------
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer
walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I
bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball."
He replied, "Highway patrolmen don't have balls."
There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what
he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and
left. She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.
