[2980] in Humor
Fwd: HUMOR: Things I Learned from the Movies
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Wed Oct 27 22:16:20 1999
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 22:15:19 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
"kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com" <kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com>,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, mtsai@bqa.com,
immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com,
nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
"Jean, Marc (GEAE)" <marc.jean@ae.ge.com>, celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu, obrien@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu, wheger@wbc-architects.com
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>X-Sender: jhassel@pop.fas.harvard.edu
>Date: Mon, 18 Oct 1999 17:52:51 -0400
>To: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>From: Julie Hassel <jhassel@fas.harvard.edu>
>Subject: Re: Fwd: HUMOR: Scientists' Ball
>
>Man, you *did* go to MIT! Let me in turn regale you with the following bit
>from one of your classmates. J.
>
>>>
>>>> Things I Learned In The Movies
>>>> ==============================
>>>> 1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the
>>>> price range of most people -- whether they are employed or not.
>>>>
>>>> 2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
>>>>
>>>> 3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut.
>>>> You will always choose the right one.
>>>>
>>>> 4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
>>>> communications system of any invading alien society.
>>>>
>>>> 5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
>>>> involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you
>>>> one by one
>>>> by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out
>>>> their predecessors.
>>>>
>>>> 6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom
>>>> will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
>>>>
>>>> 7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world
>>>> expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
>>>>
>>>> 8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down
>>>> three days before their retirement.
>>>>
>>>> 9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
>>>> archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley
>>>> systems,
>>>> deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks (or irritable, mutant sea
>>>> bass), which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
>>>>
>>>> 10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a
>>>> strip club at least once.
>>>>
>>>> 11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit
>>>> level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
>>>>
>>>> 12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
>>>> bread.
>>>>
>>>> 13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in
>>>> the control tower to talk you down.
>>>>
>>>> 14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off -- even while scuba
>>>> diving.
>>>>
>>>> 15. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
>>>> the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
>>>>
>>>> 16. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian
>>>> officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or
>>>>Russian
>>>> accent will do.
>>>>
>>>> 17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
>>>>
>>>> 18. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating,
>>>> but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
>>>>
>>>> 19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
>>>> it before long.
>>>>
>>>> 20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
>>>> noises in their most revealing underwear.
>>>>
>>>> 21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
>>>> say: Enter Password Now.
>>>>
>>>> 22. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary
>>>> to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
>>>> moments.
>>>>
>>>> 23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
>>>> readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
>>>>
>>>> 24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
>>>> duty.
>>>>
>>>> 25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet
>>>> will know all the steps.
>>>>
>>>> 26. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
>>>> sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
>>>> opposite.
>>>>
>>>> 27. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak
>>>> to each other in English.
>>>>
---------------------------------------------------------------
Sharalee M. Field, Planning Analyst
Faculty of Arts and Sciences Planning Office
Harvard University
Ph: 617.495.8257 Fax: 617.495.7881
