[2961] in Humor
Proof that we are a society of idiots
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Yevgeniya A. Nusinovich)
Thu Sep 30 18:25:53 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999 18:25:10 -0400
From: "Yevgeniya A. Nusinovich" <ynusi@MIT.EDU>
"In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are
some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
1. On Sear's Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
2. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
3. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
4. Some Swann Frozen Dinners. Serving Suggestion: Defrost.
5. On hotel-provided shower cap in box: Fits one head.
6. On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on
bottom of the box)
7. On Marks & Spencer Bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
8. On Packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
9. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive or operate
machinery.
10. On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: May cause drowsiness.
11. On a Korean Kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children.
12. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For outdoor or indoor
use only.
13. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
14. On Sainsbury peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts.
15. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open package,
eat nuts.
16. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands."
