[2954] in Humor
Proper Narrative Descriptions
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Chris Shabsin)
Mon Sep 27 15:08:56 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1999 15:04:50 EDT
From: Chris Shabsin <shabby@MIT.EDU>
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Please respond to RISLEY-L@cornell.edu
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Subject: It's the End of the Week and I'm just CTD
I got this from my pa, who works at a VA hospital.... nessie
>"The Memo
>-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>To: All EMS Personnel
>From: Chief of Operations
>Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions
>It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS
>narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective
>immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations
>to describe patients, such as the following.
>1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH
>(messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or
>HIBGIA
>(had it before, got it again).
>2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use
>CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
>3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go
>boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly,
>descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative
>vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
>4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
>5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not
>considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
>6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."
>7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal
>intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."
>8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being
>"paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD
>(circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing
>records).
>I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our
>patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper
>narratives
>and log entries."
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