[2944] in Humor
college students
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Yevgeniya A. Nusinovich)
Mon Sep 20 01:26:48 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 01:12:32 -0400
From: "Yevgeniya A. Nusinovich" <ynusi@MIT.EDU>
> >>Just How Many College Students does it take to
> screw in a lightbulb?
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Princeton students does it take to change
> a lightbulb?
> >>Two---one to mix the martinis and one to call the
> electrician.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Brown students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to
> share the
> >>experience.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Dartmouth students does it take to change
> a lightbulb?
> >>None---Hanover doesn't have electricity.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Cornell students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack
> under the
> >>pressure.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Penn students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Columbia students does it take to change
> a lightbulb?
> >>Seventy-six--one to change the lightbulb, fifty to
> protest the
> >>lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five
> to hold a counter-protest.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Yale students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>None--New Haven looks better in the dark.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Reed Students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>The Entire Reed Community (tm) --One to change the
> bulb and
> >>1200 more to throw a $30,000 party for no reason.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Harvard students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves
> around him
> >>
> >>
> >>How many MIT students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Five --one to design a nuclear-powered one that
> never needs
> >>changing, one to figure out how to power the rest
> of Boston using
> >>that nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one
> to write the
> >>computer program that controls the wall switch.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Vassar students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Eleven--One to screw it and ten to support its
> sexual orientation.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Middlebury students does it take to
> change a lightbulb?
> >>Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to find
> the perfect J. Crew
> >>outfit to wear for the occasion.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Wellesley students does it take to change
> a lightbulb?
> >>The whole student body--girls can't do anything
> right.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Stanford students does it take to change
> a lightbulb?
> >>One, dude.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Oberlin students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Three--One to change it and two to figure out how
> to get high off
> >>the old one.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Georgetown students does it take to
> change a lightbulb?
> >>Four--One to change it, one to call Congress about
> their progress, and
> >>two to throw the old bulb at American U. students.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Duke students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough
> to get the bulb
> >>out of the socket.
> >>
> >>How many Williams students does it take to change
> a lightbulb?
> >>The whole student body--when you're snowed in,
> there's
> >>nothing else to do.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Tufts students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Two--One to change the bulb and the other to say
> loudly how he did it as
> >>well as an Ivy League student.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to
> change a lightbulb?
> >>Five--One to change the bulb and four to do an
> interpretive dance about it.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Swarthmore students does it take to
> change a lightbulb?
> >>Eight--It's not that one isn't smart enough to do
> it, it's just
> >>that they're all violently twitching from too much
> stress.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Mount Holyoke students does it take to
> change a lightbulb?
> >>One--she calls a SMITHIE to do it.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Smith students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>One--all you need is one hot woman and you'll
> never have a heterosexual
> >>lightbulb again.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Boston University students does it take
> to change a lightbulb?
> >>Four--One to change the bulb and two to check his
> math homework.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Amherst students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Thirteen--One to change the bulb and an a capella
> group to immortalize the
> >>event in song.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Wesleyan students does it take to change
> a lightbulb?
> >>Wesleyan's boycotting GE . . . you know,
> military-industrial
> >>complex and all that.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Connecticut College students does it take
> to change a lightbulb?
> >>Two--One to change the bulb and one to complain
> about how if they were at a
> >>better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.
> >>
> >>How many Bucknell students does it take to change
> a lightbulb?
> >>One--but he'll only change it if he can put in a
> white-light bulb.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Three--One to ski down to the general store and
> buy the bulb, one to take
> >>the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it
> in.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Bard students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>One--but she'll only do it if it's an alternative
> light bulb.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Boston College students does it take to
> change a lightbulb?
> >>Seven--One to change the light bulb and six to
> throw a
> >>party because he didn't screw it in upside down
> this time.
> >>
> >>How many UNH students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>Four--One to change the lightbulb and three to
> pound as many
> >>Natty Lights as they can before the lightbulb is
> screwed in.
> >>
> >>
> >>How many Trinity students does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
> >>None--Why bother when Daddy can call someone to do
> it?
