[2915] in Humor
HUMOR: Groaners
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Drew Bennett)
Mon Aug 30 09:31:36 1999
Date: Mon, 30 Aug 1999 09:30:49 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Drew Bennett <dbennett@isr.com>
>>Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
>>A: They take the psycho path.
>>
>>Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
>>A: "Dam!"
>>
>>Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
>>A: Polaroids.
>>
>>Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
>>A: Cell phones.
>>
>>Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
>>A: A stick.
>>
>>Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
>>A: Nacho Cheese.
>>
>>Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
>>A: Subordinate Clauses.
>>
>>Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
>>A: Quatro sinko.
>>
>>Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
>>A: Spoiled milk.
>>
>>Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
>>A: Frostbite.
>>
>>Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and
>> if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
>>A: A pool table.
>>
>>Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
>>A: A nervous wreck.
>>
>>Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
>>A: Anyone can roast beef.
>>
>>Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
>>A: Right where you left him.
>>
>>Q: Where do you get virgin wool from?
>>A: Ugly sheep.
>>
>>Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
>>A: They all have phones.
>>
>>Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
>>A: They're trying to get away from the noise.
>>
>>Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
>>A: Because they have big fingers
>>
>>Q: What is a zebra?
>>A: 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
>>
>>Q: Did you hear about the flasher that was thinking about retiring?
>>A: He decided to stick it out for one more year.
>>
>>Q: What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
>>A: A dog that runs for help ... after it tears your throat out.
>>
>>Q: What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post
>> office?
>>A: They're hiring.
>>
>>Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
>>A: Sanka.
>
