[2908] in Humor
Sorry, no pigs
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Brian T Sniffen)
Sun Aug 22 21:27:07 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Brian T Sniffen <brians@MIT.EDU>
Date: 22 Aug 1999 21:26:31 -0400
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television was
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
Smartest dogs: 1) Scottish Border collie; 2) Poodle; 3) Golden Retriever.
Dumbest: Afghan hound.
Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each
salad served first class: $40,000
City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33
Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they
had it to do allover again: 80%
Percentage of American women who say they'd marry the same man: 50%
Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.
Percentage of Americans who have visited Disneyland/Disney World: 70%
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Only President to win a Pulitzer: John F. Kennedy for "Profiles in
Courage"
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services
(two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not re-number the other
channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no
channel1.
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monument.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is
uncopyrightable.
Hang On Snoopy is the official rock song of Ohio. (Note Real title is
"Sloopy")
Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when
the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground
floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircase.
The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of
the Don McLean song.)
When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually
pass out from sheer terror.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year
because
when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all
the books that would occupy the building.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.
Spades - King David, Clubs- Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, and
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the
air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air,
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has
all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes
Clans of long ago, that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without
killing them, would burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get
fired."
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the
last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
The term "the whole 9 yards" came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South
Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber
machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into
the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the
whole 9 yards."
Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks
like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated
that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb
An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must
be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of
war
or other emergencies.
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General
Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is
necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had
segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and
whites.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon
of diesel that it burns.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in
Colorado.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19.
You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to
make change for a dollar.
No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a
Superbowl.
The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".
The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports
events (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the
Major League all-stars Game
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosey is a rhyme about the plague.
Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores ("Ring
around the Rosey..."), these sores would smell very badly so common
folks would put flowers on their bodies somewhere (inconspicuously),
so that it would cover the smell of the sores ("...a pocket full of
poseys..."). People who died from the plague would be burned so as to
reduce the possible spread of the disease ("...ashes, ashes, we all
fall down!")
