[2877] in Humor
HUMOR: Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathon Weiss)
Wed Jul 14 01:14:48 1999
From: Jonathon Weiss <jweiss@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 01:13:40 EDT
------- Forwarded Message
From: Steve Weiss <srw@alum.mit.edu>
>From the Net, unattributed
Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD
In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Balmer
revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer resellers
and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death
(abbreviated BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating
system crashes.
The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer
surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked,
"What do you spend the most time doing on your computer?" A surprising
number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death". At 54
percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place answer
"Downloading Pornography" by an easy 12 points.
"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves,
our channel partners, and especially our customers." explained the
excited Balmer to a room full of reporters.
Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable
BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select
from a collection of "BSOD Themes", allowing them to instead have a
Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and
multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the
BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and
entertainment to Windows users.
The Blue Screen of Death is by far the most recognized feature of the
Windows (tm) operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has
historically insisted on total control over its look-and-feel. This
recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of
the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By
default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random selection of
Microsoft product information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft
channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize
the BSOD on systems they ship.
Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already
lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD.
Balmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community.
"This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much
faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux
even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."
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