[2860] in Humor
Why stupid people shouldn't be allowed to travel
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Brian T Sniffen)
Sat Jun 26 21:37:18 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Brian T Sniffen <brians@MIT.EDU>
Date: 26 Jun 1999 21:34:27 -0400
The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get
messed
up by being near the window.
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she
interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the
stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown
is
in Africa." Her response ... click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
Orlando
is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked
on
the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No." He said, "But they look so close on the map."
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-over in
Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas
was
a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save
time."
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that
her
flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I
tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
could notunderstand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the
plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on
your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said,"No, why do
you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they
put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any
connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked
into
it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code
for
Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag
on
her luggage.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going
over
all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
plane
to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have
numbers
on them."
A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those
computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a
commuter
plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed
in
order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been
to
China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked
and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he
said,
"Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted
my
American Express."
A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights
do
you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came
back
with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
country
and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
"You
don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
