[2782] in Humor
Do You Know These People?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Slim Shady)
Thu Apr 22 13:55:37 1999
From: "Slim Shady" <descentr3@hotmail.com>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1999 13:53:53 EDT
Do You Know These People?
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all
the wounded.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is
shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he
predicted yesterday did not happen today.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the
personality to be an accountant.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that
decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a
"brief."
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells
you the time.
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