[2769] in Humor
Getting into Heaven...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Slim Shady)
Mon Apr 12 18:32:21 1999
From: "Slim Shady" <descentr3@hotmail.com>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 12 Apr 1999 18:31:06 EDT
A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted.
St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's
name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes
the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry, I don't see
your name written in the Book."
"How current is your copy?" he asks.
"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies,
"why do you ask?"
"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn
type. It was not until my death was imminent that I cried
out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy yet."
"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're waiting
for the update to come through, can tell me about a really good
deed that you did in your life?"
The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there was
this one time when I was driving down a road and I saw a group
of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down,
and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of them harassing
this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire
iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang.
He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather
jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As
I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around
me and told me to get lost or I'd be next.
"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed
him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around
and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent
girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals!
Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
"About two minutes ago."
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