[2694] in Humor
The new priest
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Descent God)
Tue Mar 2 14:20:56 1999
From: "Descent God" <descentr3@hotmail.com>
To: autodeletion@hotmail.com, humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 02 Mar 1999 11:18:11 PST
The new priest was so nervous at his first Mass, he could hardly speak.
Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how
he could relax.
The Monsignor said, "Next Sunday, it may help if you put some vodka in
the water pitcher." The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion
into practice and was able to talk up a storm. He felt great! However,
upon returning to the rectory he found this note from the Monsignor.
Dear Father,
1. Next time sip rather than gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There 12 disciples, not 10.
4. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
5. The recommended grace before meals is not "Rubadubdub,
thanks for the grub. Yea God!".
6. We do not refer to Our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and His Apostles as
" J.C. and the Boys."
7. David slew Goliath, he did not"kick the shit out of him."
8. Moses parted the waters of the Red Sea, he did not pass water.
9. We don't refer to Judas as "El Finko."
10. The Pope is consecrated, not castrated.
11. When Jesus broke bread at the Last Supper, he said,"Take this
and eat it for this is my body," he did not say,"Eat Me."
12.David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, he was'nt
"stoned off his ass."
13. The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost, are never referred to as
"Big Daddy, Junior, and, The Spook."
14. Last, but not least, there will be a taffy pulling contest at St
Peter's, not peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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