[2690] in Humor
The Rules of Chocolate!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Descent God)
Thu Feb 25 23:10:54 1999
From: "Descent God" <descentr3@hotmail.com>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 25 Feb 1999 20:09:55 PST
THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE
~ If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it
too slowly.
~ Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all
count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
~ The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in
hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
~ Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge
off your appetite and you'll eat less.
~ A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of
calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
~ If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
~ But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
~ If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate
to protect themselves.
~ If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that
a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
~ Money talks. Chocolate sings.
~ Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
~ Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.
~ If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top
pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
~ Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
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