[2658] in Humor
HUMOR: JoTD
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Thu Feb 11 09:46:22 1999
Date: Thu, 11 Feb 1999 08:38:33 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
wheger@wbc-architects.com,
"kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com" <kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com>,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, mtsai@bqa.com,
immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com,
nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
"Jean, Marc (GEAE)" <marc.jean@ae.ge.com>, celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu, Courtney Nichols <crnichol@fas.harvard.edu>
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>From: The DAILY DOSE! <yasha@harari.org>
>Subject: DAILY DOSE! 2/10/99
>Date: Wed, 10 Feb 1999 23:25:18 +0200
>
>**************************
>
>*****DAILY DOSE! A Supplement to tINY tALES!*****
>
>"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
>On my desk I have a work station...."
> -- Unbe Knownst
>
>Productively,
>
>
>Yasha Harari
>yasha@harari.org
>http://harari.org/html/daily_dose_.html
>************************************************************************
>
>WORDPERFECT HELPLINE
>
>This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say the
>help desk employee was fired; However, he/she is currently suing the
>WordPerfect organization for "Termination without cause".
>
>Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
>
>TECH: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
>
>CALLER: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect"
>
>TECH: "What sort of trouble?"
>
>CALLER: "Well. I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
>away."
>
>TECH: "Went away?"
>
>CALLER: "They disappeared."
>
>TECH: "Hmm - So what does your screen took like now?"
>
>CALLER: "Nothing."
>
>TECH: "Nothing?"
>
>CALLER: "It's blank; It won't accept anything when I type."
>
>TECH: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
>
>CALLER: "How do I tell?"
>
>TECH: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
>
>CALLER: "What's a sea-prompt?"
>
>TECH: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
>
>CALLER: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything when I
>type."
>
>TECH: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
>
>CALLER: "What's a monitor?"
>
>TECH: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
>have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
>
>CALLER: "I don't know."
>
>TECH: "Well, then look on the back of thee monitor and find where the power
>cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
>
>CALLER: "Yes I think so."
>
>TECH: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
>the wall."
>
>CALLER: "Yes it is."
>
>TECH: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
>cables plugged into the back of it. Not just one?"
>
>CALLER: "No."
>
>TECH: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
>other cable."
>
>CALLER: "Okay, here it is."
>
>TECH: "Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
>of your computer."
>
>CALLER: "I can't reach."
>
>TECH: "Uh huh. Well. Can you see if it is?"
>
>CALLER: "No."
>
>TECH: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
>
>CALLER: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - its because
>it's dark."
>
>TECH: "Dark?"
>
>CALLER: "Yes. The office light is off and the only light I have is coming
>in from the window."
>
>TECH: "Well turn on the light then."
>
>CALLER: "I can't."
>
>TECH: "No? Why not?"
>
>CALLER: "Because there's a power outage."
>
>TECH: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
>still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
>
>CALLER: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>
>TECH: "Cool. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
>was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
>
>CALLER: "Really. Is it that bad?"
>
>TECH: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>
>CALLER: "Well, all right then, I suppose - What do I tell them?"
>
>TECH: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
>
>
>Source: WordPerfect Support Logs
>************************************************************************
>FOR SALE OR LONG LEASE
>Unique Apartment in St. Moritz, Switzerland,
>Fully and majestically furnished. Sale price is 950,000 S.F.
>(around 600,000 USD): 3 bdrm (sleeps 8 people), 2 bathrooms,
>1 en-suite, dining room & living room containing
>hand-crafted furniture. Balcony facing both the mountains
>and the lake. For additional information please contact:
>Mrs. Weston, in London, England. Tel: 0044-171-266-3226,
>fax: 0044-171-266-4184, Or tel/fax 0044-1420-561-232
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sharalee M. Field, Planning Analyst
Faculty of Arts and Sciences Planning Office
Harvard University
Ph: 617.495.8257 Fax: 617.495.7881
