[2638] in Humor
HUMOR: Cat haiku
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Mon Feb 1 15:00:27 1999
Date: Mon, 01 Feb 1999 12:25:12 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
wheger@wbc-architects.com,
"kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com" <kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com>,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, mtsai@bqa.com,
immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com,
nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
"Jean, Marc (GEAE)" <marc.jean@ae.ge.com>, celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu, Courtney Nichols <crnichol@fas.harvard.edu>
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>Date: Sun, 31 Jan 1999 22:25:48 -0800
>From: Connie Kleinjans <connie@nanospace.com>
>X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.06 [en] (Win95; U)
>To: connie@nanospace.com
>Subject: HUMOR: Cat haiku
>
>From: Auriel Kollmann <AKollman@Wyse.com>
>
>
>Cat Haiku
>
>
>You never feed me.
>
>Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
>
>That will show you.
>
>
>
>You must scratch me there!
>
>Yes, above my tail! Behold,
>
>Elevator butt.
>
>
>
>I need a new toy.
>
>Tail of black dog keeps good time.
>
>Pounce! good dog! good dog!
>
>
>
>The rule for today:
>
>Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
>
>New rule tomorrow.
>
>
>
>In deep sleep hear sound
>
>Cat throwup hairball somewhere
>
>Will find in morning
>
>
>
>Grace personified,
>
>I leap into the window.
>
>I meant to do that.
>
>
>
>Blur of motion, then --
>
>Silence, me, a paper bag.
>
>What is so funny?
>
>
>
>The mighty hunter
>
>Returns with gifts of plump birds --
>
>Your foot just squashed one
>
>
>
>You're always typing.
>
>Well, let's see you ignore my
>
>Sitting on your hands.
>
>
>
>My small cardboard box.
>
>You cannot see me if I
>
>Can hide my head.
>
>
>
>Terrible battle.
>
>I fought for hours. Come and see!
>
>What's a 'term paper'?
>
>
>
>Kitty likes plastic
>
>Confuses for litter box
>
>Shouldn't leave around
>
>
>
>Small brave carnivores
>
>Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
>
>Fear vacuum cleaner
>
>
>
>Want to trim my claws?
>
>Don't even think about it!
>
>My cries will wake dead.
>
>
>
>I want to be close
>
>To you. Can I fit my head
>
>inside your armpit?
>
>
>
>Want to go outside.
>
>Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
>
>Let me back inside!
>
>
>
>Oh no! Big One
>
>has been trapped by newspaper!
>
>Cat to the rescue!
>
>
>
>Humans are so strange.
>
>Mine lies still in bed, then screams!
>
>My claws aren't that sharp ...
>
>
>
>Cats meow out of angst
>
>"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
>
>We could break so much!"
>
>
>
>Litter box not here
>
>You must have moved it again
>
>I'll go in the sink.
>
>
>
>The Big Ones snore now
>
>Every room is dark and cold
>
>Time for "Cup Hockey"
>
>
>
>We're almost equals
>
>I purr to show I love you
>
>Want to smell my butt?
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sharalee M. Field, Planning Analyst
Faculty of Arts and Sciences Planning Office
Harvard University
Ph: 617.495.8257 Fax: 617.495.7881
