[257] in Humor
an interesting document I discovered while ftping
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jeffrey Poore)
Tue May 10 16:02:48 1994
Date: Tue, 10 May 94 19:58:40 0000
From: jefreypu@MIT.EDU (Jeffrey Poore)
To: humor@MIT.EDU
\begindata{text, 803824}
\textdsversion{12}
\template{default}
\majorheading{SEX(1) EUNUCH Programmer's Manual
SEX(1)}
\heading{NAME}
sex - have sex
\heading{SYNOPSIS}
sex [ -13abcdefijlmnopqsvwBCOPSW ] [ username ] ...
\heading{DESCRIPTION}
\bold{sex} allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s)
specified in
the command line. If no users are specified, they are taken from
the LOVERS environment variable. Options to make things
more interesting are as follows:
-1 masturbate
-3 triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option
(may not be used with -1 option,
and must have permission of specified users)
-a external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option
-b buggery
-B<animal>
bestiality with <animal>, if <animal> not specified value is
taken
from /usr/lib/sex/animals .
-c chocolate sauce option
-C chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W)
-d<file>
get a date with the features described in <file>
-e exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)
-f foreplay option
-i coitus interruptus (messy!)
-j jacuzzi option (California sites only)
-l leather option
-m masochism (see -s)
-n necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program kills it)
-o oral option
-O parallel access (orgy)
-p debug option (proposition only)
-P pedophilia (must specify a child process)
-q quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)
-s sadism (target must set -m)
-S sundae option
-v voyeurism (surveys the entire net)
-w whipped cream option
-W whips (see also -s, -C, and -m)
\heading{ENVIRONMENT}
LOVERS
is a list of default partners which will be used if none are
specified in the command line. If any are specified, the
values in LOVERS is ignored.
\heading{FILES}
/usr/lib/sex/animals animals for bestiality
/usr/lib/sex/blackbook possible dates
/usr/lib/sex/sundaes sundae recipes
/usr/lib/sex/s&m sado-masochistic equipment
\heading{BUGS}
^C (quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied.
^S (pause) may halt the process entirely.
^Z (stop process) is usually quite messy.
\heading{MAN AUTHOR}
Author prefers to be anonymous.
\heading{HISTORY}
Oldest program ever.
\enddata{text,803824}
