[256] in Humor
HUMOR: Performance Review Terms
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon May 9 17:42:56 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 09 May 94 17:37:29 EDT
Date: Mon, 9 May 94 13:29:21 PDT
From: Connie_Kleinjans@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
REVIEW TERMS
says: 'Maintains a high degree of participation.'
means: 'Comes to work on time.'
says: 'Excels in the effective application of skills.'
means: 'Makes a good cup of coffee.'
says: 'Displays excellent intuitive judgement.'
means: 'Knows when to disappear.'
says: 'Displays great dexterity and agility.'
means: 'Dodges and evades superiors well.'
says: 'Demonstrates imaginative leadership.'
means: 'Imagines self to be Ivan the Terrible.'
says: 'Inspires the cooperation of others.'
means: 'Gets everyone else to do the work.'
says: 'Excels in sustaining concentration while avoiding
confrontations.'
means: 'Ignores everyone.'
says: 'Is willing to take calculated risks.'
means: 'Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.'
says: 'Identifies major management problems.'
means: 'Complains a lot.'
says: 'Keeps well informed on business, political
and social issues.'
means: 'Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.'
says: 'Is exceptionally well informed.'
means: 'Knows where all the skeletons are kept.'
says: 'Delegates responsibility effectively.'
means: 'Passes the buck well.'
says: 'Accepts new job assignments willingly.'
means: 'Never finishes a job.'
says: 'Optimizes the use of available resources.'
means: 'Conserves supplies and funds by never doing
anything.'
