[2563] in Humor
HUMOR: Not quite Webster
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Mon Nov 23 10:44:19 1998
Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1998 10:38:46 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
wheger@wbc-architects.com,
"kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com" <kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com>,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, mtsai@bqa.com,
immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com,
nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
"Jean, Marc (GEAE)" <marc.jean@ae.ge.com>, celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1998 12:30:54 -0500
>To: sharalee_field@harvard.edu
>From: "Lorraine J. Rappaport" <ljr@MIT.EDU>
>Subject: HUMOR: Not quite Webster
>
>
>>From: Carol Sardo <csardo@MIT.EDU>
>>Subject: Not quite Webster
>>
>>
>>>The following are from the Washington Post Style Invitational (a weekly
>>>contest for readers). The idea is to redefine words from the
>>>dictionary.
>>>
>>>Abdicate--v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>>>
>>>Carcinoma--n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy
>>>smog.
>>>
>>>Esplanade--v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>>>
>>>Willy-nilly--adj., impotent.
>>>
>>>Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much weight you have
>>>gained.
>>>
>>>Negligent--adj., describes a condition in which you
>>>absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
>>>
>>>Lymph--v., to walk with a lisp.
>>>
>>>Gargoyle--n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.
>>>
>>>Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus driver.
>>>
>>>Coffee--n., a person who is coughed upon.
>>>
>>>Flatulence--n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
>>>run over by a steamroller.
>>>
>>>Internet--n., the web of interns in which Ken Starr has tried to
>>>snare Bill Clinton.
>>>
>>>Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding hairline.
>>>
>>>Testicle--n., a humorous question on an exam.
>>>
>>>Semantics--n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the
>>>priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's
prayer
>>>book together just before vespers.
>>>
>>>Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
>>>proctologist immediately before he examines you.
>>>
>>>Macadam--n., the first man on Earth, according to the Scottish
>>>bible.
>>>
>>>Marionettes--n., residents of Washington who have been jerked
>>>around by the mayor.
>>>
>>>Oyster--n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
>>>expressions.
>>>
>>>Circumvent--n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
>>
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