[2560] in Humor
fwd - consumer goods
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Yelena Margolin)
Thu Nov 19 19:08:09 1998
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 19 Nov 1998 19:04:57 EST
From: Yelena Margolin <yelya@MIT.EDU>
------- Forwarded Message
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here
are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
*On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
* On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
* On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
* Some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
* On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
* On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
* On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
* On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
* On Nytol (a sleep aid):
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
* On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
* On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
* On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
* On Sainsbury's Peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
* On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
* On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
