[2534] in Humor
HUMOR: The Best Comeback Line Ever
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jeremy W Nimmer)
Wed Nov 4 13:33:56 1998
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 04 Nov 1998 13:30:11 EST
From: Jeremy W Nimmer <mistere@MIT.EDU>
The Best Comeback Line Ever:
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male,
resident of White Plains, NY, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm
Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious
behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the
County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated
that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop.
"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there
was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there
wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County
courthouse jail.
Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of
the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate
to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy
his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you
know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the
White Plains police car approaching and was unaware of his
audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was
an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at
this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when
she approached Davidson. "I just went up and said, "Excuse
me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"
"He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me
straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin!? Damn... is it
midnight already?"
