[2530] in Humor
HUMOR: Post-Wedding Photos
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathon Weiss)
Tue Nov 3 14:12:11 1998
From: Jonathon Weiss <jweiss@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 03 Nov 1998 14:08:42 EST
------- Forwarded Message
From: Amy Beverley Chan & Jeremy David Weiss <slinkie@cyberspace.org>
The photo list (with gender stereotypes):
1. Bride opening presents.
2. Groom opening presents.
3. Bride writing thank-you notes.
4. Groom finding excuses not to write thank-you notes.
5. Groom writing thank-you notes after all.
6. Bride and groom searching high and low to discover the card that went with the mysterious orange fondue pot.
7. Bride and groom mailing thank-you notes (finally!).
8. Happy Couple setting table with new dishes.
9. Happy Couple making bed with new sheets.
10. Happy Couple swinging cat in new sheets. (Some cats love this.)
11. Happy Couple discovering that storing wedding loot means cleaning closets.
12. Priceless look on bride's face when she sees what's at the back of groom's closet or at the bottom of his junk drawer.
13. Look on groom's face when he sees how many little plastic things of eye shadow the bride owns.
14. Bride giving groom's favorite shirt from junior high to Goodwill.
15. Happy Couple arguing over whether kitchen towels should be terry cloth or flour sacks.
16. Happy Couple discovering that grocery shopping loses its romance around week three.
17. Parents asking, "So, when are you starting a family?"
18. Bride's expression the 43rd time she hears this question.
19. Friends asking, "So what are you going to do now that the wedding is over?"
20. Bride's expression the 29th time she hears this question.
21. Bride looking cranky because now she has to find a new distraction when she doesn't feel like working on her term paper or dissertation.
22. The bathroom floor two months after both parties realize that getting married doesn't mean turning into Ozzie and Harriet.
23. Bride arguing with mother about why mother needs one of *every* shot, at Happy Couple's expense.
24. Bride discovering that two-thirds of the reception photos include her college friend's casual date, whose name no one knows.
25. Bride discovering that the reception photos include none of her with Groom.
26. Happy Couple watching video and seeing how their relatives actually acted.
27. Single friend complaining, "Now that you're married, you're only interested in spending time with other couples!"
28. Single friend complaining, "It's depressing visiting you because you're so happy and I can't get a date."
29. In-laws demanding to know why bride won't use groom's last name.
30. Bride's expression when her birthday card from in-laws is addressed to "Mrs. John Doe" rather than "Carol Smith."
