[2503] in Humor
HUMOR: Redefined words
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Fri Oct 16 09:25:48 1998
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 1998 09:22:39 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
wheger@wbc-architects.com,
"kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com" <kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com>,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, mtsai@bqa.com,
immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com,
nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
"Jean, Marc (GEAE)" <marc.jean@ae.ge.com>, celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>Date: Thu, 15 Oct 1998 23:07:04 -0700
>From: Connie Kleinjans <<connie@nanospace.com>
>X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.06 [en] (Win95; U)
>To: connie@nanospace.com
>Subject: HUMOR: Redefined words
>
>The following are from the Washington Post Style Invitational (a weekly
>contest for readers). The idea is to redefine words from the dictionary.
>
>Carcinoma--n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
>
>Esplanade--v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
>Willy-nilly--adj., impotent.
>
>Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.
>
>Negligent--adj., describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
>answer the door in your nightie.
>
>Lymph--v., to walk with a lisp.
>
>Gargoyle--n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
>Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus driver.
>
>Nincompoop--n., the military command responsible for battlefield
>sanitation.
>
>Coffee--n., a person who is coughed upon.
>
>Flatulence--n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
>run over by a steamroller.
>
>Internet--n., the web of interns in which Ken Starr has tried to snare
>Bill Clinton.
>
>Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding hairline.
>
>Mausoleum--n., floor covering used in crypts. Attractive from the top
>and bottom.
>
>Testicle--n., a humorous question to an exam.
>
>Semantics--n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the
>priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's
>prayerbook together just before Vespers.
>
>Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
>immediately before he examines you.
>
>Lobster--n., a slick-talking, oily, obnoxious person who represents
>special interest groups on Capitol Hill.
>
>Macadam--n., the first man on Earth, according to the Celtic bible.
>
>Marionettes--n., residents of Washington D.C. who have been jerked
>around by the mayor.
>
>Oyster--n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
>expressions.
>
>Circumvent--n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
>
>Abdicate--v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
>--------------
>Richard Landau landau@ricksoft.com http://www.ricksoft.com/~landau
>
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