[2450] in Humor
HUMOR: Strange Sex Laws
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Mikhail Khusid)
Thu Sep 10 13:58:31 1998
From: "Mikhail Khusid" <Mikhail_Khusid@notes.teradyne.com>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 13:51:58 -0400
This joke was making rounds earlier, and noone knows how much of it is true, but
still...
From: drpepper@HappyValley.net (Dr. Pepper)
Subject: Strange Sex Laws
Date: 10 Sep 1998 13:20:41 GMT
STRANGE SEX LAWS
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or
fishing on your wedding day.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic,
onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife
so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to
take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or
holding you in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members
of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if
they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have
twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when
a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love
on the floor between the beds!
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide
each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they
are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex
unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having
sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called
master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset.
(There was a civil-service job -- for men only -- called a corset
inspector.)
However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing
corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered
body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded
American male."
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police
officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any
suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from
behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes
before getting out of his car to investigate.
Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a
table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two
ounces of clothing.
Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their
lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while
they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked
vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has
drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you
can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio -- a
man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the
boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with
a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local
newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a
virgin under any circumstances (including the wedding night).
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania there is a law against having sex with a
truck driver in a toll booth.
In Willowdale, Oregon there is a law against a husband talking dirty in
his wife's ear during sex.
In Clinton, Oklahoma there is a law against masturbating while watching
two people have sex in a car.
In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on
Kingsville airport property.
In Ventura County, California there is a law against cats and dogs having
sex without a permit.
In Washington, D.C. there is a law against having sex in any position
other than face-to-face.
In Nevada there is a law against having sex without a condom.
In every state of the union there is a law against having sex with a
corspe.
In Fairbanks, Alaska there is a law against two moose having sex on the
city sidewalks.
