[2351] in Humor
HUMOR: New Biblical research on the Origin of Pets
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathon Weiss)
Mon Jun 22 23:56:30 1998
From: Jonathon Weiss <jweiss@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 23:51:03 EDT
------- Forwarded Message
From: Steve Weiss <SteveWeiss@comshare.com>
It is reported that an additional chapter of the Book of Genesis has
been discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls that provides an answer to the
question, "Where do pets come from?"
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me
everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and
it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create an companion for you that will
be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so
that you will know I love you even when you cannot see me. Regardless of
how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion
will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of
yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a
good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be
with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already
named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for
this new animal."
And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to
be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own
name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And
Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged
his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the
Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and
preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has
indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility."
And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who
will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion
will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not
always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey
Adam.
And when Adam gazed in to Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not
the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved.
The cat did not care one way or the other.
************************************************************************
The Dog thinks:
My humans feed me, pet me, play with me, and love me - they must be God.
The Cat thinks:
My humans feed me, pet me, play with me, and love me - I must be God.
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