[2318] in Humor
HUMOR: Words to Live By
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Wed May 20 09:51:49 1998
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 09:38:08 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
wheger@wbc-architects.com, Kris_Kelly@notes.pw.com, jbran18610@aol.com,
dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, rpr@ma.ultranet.com, mtsai@bqa.com,
immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com,
nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com, celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
s_donovan@harvard.edu, leite@fas.harvard.edu,
Carlos Zalduondo <cjz@usa.net>
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>>>>
<excerpt>X-Sender: cjwells@pop.fas.harvard.edu
X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Pro Version 3.0.3 (32)
Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 09:15:31 -0400
To: mnye@ase.tufts.edu, sharalee_field@harvard.edu,
Marian.Abowitz@VALLEY.NET,
themwo@aol.com
From: Christopher Wells <<cjwells@fas.harvard.edu>
Subject: Some good stuff in here, I thought...
>
>"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the
>unfit, to do the unnecessary."
>-- Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960
>
>"With every passing hour, our solar system comes forty-three
>thousand miles closer to globular cluster 13 in the
>constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who
>continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress. "
>-- Ransom K. Ferm
>
>"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had
>years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet,
>make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. "
>-- Dave Barry
>
>"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
>because I hate plants. "
>-- A. Whitney Brown
>
>"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
>rearranging their prejudices. "
>-- William James
>
>"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom
>that is in it--and stop there; lest we be like the cat that
>sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot
>stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit
>down on a cold one anymore. "
>-- Mark Twain
>
>"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in
>the streets? "
>-- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate
>
>"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving
>an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life
>without even considering if there are men on base. "
>-- Dave Barry
>
>Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: "No matter how great your
>triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one billion
>Chinese couldn't care less. "
>
>"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather
>straps. "
>-- Emo Phillips
>
>"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a
>mistake when you make it again. "
>-- F. P. Jones
>
>"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to
>learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for
>their apparent disinclination to do so. "
>-- Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See
>
>"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist,
>a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the
>God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't
>believe?'"
>-- Quentin Crisp
>
>"I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick
>and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up
>in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not!
>But I'm sick and tired of being told that I am! "
>-- Monty Python
>
>"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. "
>-- George Carlin
>
>"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent
>revolution inevitable. "
>-- John F. Kennedy
>
>"Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning
>of which I disapprove. "
>-- Ashleigh Brilliant
>
>"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. "
>-- Ashleigh Brilliant
>
>"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you
>think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1.
>Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President.
>3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. "
>-- David Letterman
>
>"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow
>but phone calls taper off. "
>-- Johnny Carson
>
>"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous
>and give the wrong answers. "
>-- A Bit of Fry and Laurie
>
>"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when
>you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in
>what's left of your unit. "
>-- In the August 1993 issue (page 9) of PS magazine, the Army's
>magazine of preventive maintenance
>
>"Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts
>avoiding you. "
>-- Old Farmer's Almanac
>
>"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled. "
>-- Plutarch
>
>"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. "
>-- Salvador Dali
>
>"Sacred cows make the best hamburger. "
>-- Mark Twain
>
>"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone
>wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than
>one night.'"
>-- Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" [Charles Schulz]
>
>Calvin: "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but
>they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots
>in the world. "
>Hobbes: "Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in
>the front? "
>
>[forwarded by Tom Gold]
>
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>Mikey's Thot for the Day:
>What's another word for thesaurus?
>
>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
>
>
<paraindent><param>left,out,out</param> Christopher Wells
University Hall B9
Harvard University
FAS Administrative Computing
(617) 495-7983
</paraindent> cjwells@fas.harvard.edu
</excerpt><<<<<<<<
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Sharalee M. Field University Hall 11
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Faculty of Arts and Sciences 617.495.8257 (Voice)
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