[2244] in Humor
CLASSIC HUMOR: You Just Might Be a Grad Student if...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathon Weiss)
Fri Mar 13 20:49:41 1998
From: Jonathon Weiss <jweiss@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 13 Mar 1998 20:42:05 EST
From: Amy Beverley Chan & Jeremy David Weiss <slinkie@cyberspace.org>
( from http://nebula.as.arizona.edu/~aturner/humor/might.be )
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A GRAD STUDENT IF:
* You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
* Your cubicle is better decorated than your apartment.
* You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the
progress of your own joke across the Internet.
* You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
* You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
* You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your
laptop.
* Everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
* You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
* You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while
researching a single paper.
* There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider
"yours."
* You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
* You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the
library.
* You look forward to summers because you're more productive without
the distraction of classes.
* You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
* You consider all papers to be works in progress.
* Professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
* You find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the
actual text.
* You have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now
just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
* You have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
* You reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you
realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
* You find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th
grade".
* You start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."
* You frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without
getting scurvy
* You look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
* You have more photocopy cards than credit cards
* You wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as
"personal communication"
* You can identify universities by their internet domains.
* You are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
* You have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
* You understand jokes about Foucoult.
* The concept of free time scares you.
* You consider caffeine to be a major food group.
* You've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually
studied.
* Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
* The professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings
anyway.
* You've ever travelled across two state lines specifically to go to
a library.
* You appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which* twenty hours
out of the day you have to work.
* You still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get
over it).
* You can read course books and cook at the same time.
* You schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can
come.
* You hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying
in.
* You've ever worn out a library card.
* You find taking notes in a park relaxing.
* You find yourself citing sources in conversation.
* You've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
