[2235] in Humor
great analogy!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (LMCCOOPER@aol.com)
Thu Feb 12 12:53:25 1998
From: <LMCCOOPER@aol.com>
Date: Thu, 12 Feb 1998 12:43:18 EST
To: humor@MIT.EDU, jcooper@biost1.thi.tmc.edu
> > Managed Care at the Symphony:
> >
> > A managed care company president was given a ticket for a
> performance
> of
> > Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. Since he was unable to go, he
> passed the
> > invitation to one of his managed care reviewers. The next
> morning, the
> > president asked him how he enjoyed it, and, instead of a few
> plausible
> > observations, he was handed a memorandum which read as follows:
> >
> > 1. For a considerable period, the oboe players had nothing to
> do.
> > Their number should be reduced, and their work spread over the whole
> > orchestra, thus avoiding peaks of inactivity.
> >
> > 2. All twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems
> unnecessary
> > duplication, and the staff of this section should be drastically
> cut. If
> a
> > large volume of sound is really required, this could be obtained
> through the
> > use of an amplifier.
> >
> > 3. Much effort was involved in playing the sixteenth notes. This
> seems an
> > excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all notes should
> be
> rounded
> > up to the nearest eighth note. If this were done, it would be
> possible
> to use
> > paraprofessionals instead of experienced musicians.
> >
> > 4. No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage
>
> that has
> > already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant passages
> were
> > eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two hours to twenty
> minutes.
> >
> > 5. This symphony had two movements. If Schubert didn't achieve his
> musical
> > goals by the end of the first movement, then he should have
> stopped
> there.
> > The second movement is unnecessary and should be cut. In light of
> the
> above,
> > one can only conclude that had Schubert given attention to these
> matters, he
> > probably would have had the time to finish his symphony.
> >
> >
> >
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