[2207] in Humor
HUMOR: another xmas spoof
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Mon Dec 15 16:12:08 1997
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 1997 15:56:39 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, mgshea@aol.com, wheger@wbc-architects.com,
Kris_Kelly@notes.pw.com, jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU,
dahv@MIT.EDU, jsquill@MIT.EDU, mtsai@bqa.com, immer@MIT.EDU,
celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>From: "Gingras, Jack (GEAE)" <<jack.gingras@ae.ge.com>
>To: "'barry.mendell@edwards.boc.com'" <<IMCEACCMAIL-barry+2Emendell+40edwards+2Eboc+2Ecom+20at+20barry+2Emendell+40edwards+2Eboc+2Ecom@msx.ae.ge.com>,
> "'GDeVoe@rimco.com'" <<GDeVoe@rimco.com>, "'ljr@mit.edu'" <<ljr@mit.edu>,
> "'Sharalee M. Field'" <<sharalee_field@harvard.edu>,
> "'peter_white_at_ane100@mail.hq.faa.gov'"
> <<peter_white_at_ane100@mail.hq.faa.gov>
>Subject: FW: Christmas item (fwd)
>Date: Mon, 15 Dec 1997 15:50:14 -0500
>X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.0.1459.5)
>
>Thought you folks might like this one.
>Jack
>x Jack Gingras
>Cell Support Leader
>Lynn Product Test Center
>Phone (781)594-1883
>Fax(781)594-6213
>
>> Jingle Gates
>>
>> `Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
>> Not a creature was stirring except for my mouse.
>> The computer was humming, the icons were hopping
>> As E-commerce handled my last-minute shopping.
>>
>> The stockings were hung by the modem with care
>> In hopes that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
>> The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
>> While visions of computer games danced in their heads.
>>
>> Dark Forces for Tommy, and Doom II for Dan,
>> And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
>> The letter to Santa was E-mailed by Mom
>> To santaclause@toyshop.northpole.com
>>
>> The E-mail was routed to Washington state
>> Because Santa's workshop was bought by Bill Gates.
>> All the elves and the reindeer have had to skedaddle
>> To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
>>
>> After centuries of life that was simple and spare
>> St. Nicholas now is a new billionaire,
>> With a shiny red Porsche in place of his sleigh,
>> And a house on Lake Washington, down from Bill's just a way.
>>
>> The old fellow preens in his black Gucci boots,
>> And red Calvin Klein jeans, that show off his glutes.
>> The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
>> Where they now write sourcecode for Bill and his crew.
>>
>> No more dolls or toy soldiers or drums by the tree,
>> Only Microsoft apps -- you can bet they're not free!
>> So boot up your software and spin up your drive,
>> Christmas now only runs on Win 95!
>>
>> More rapid than QuickTime the competitors complained
>> But Bill whistled and shouted and called them by name.
>> "Now Borland, Now Lotus, Now Intuit too.
>> Now Apple, and Netscape -- you guys are all through!"
>>
>> It is Microsoft SANTA(tm) that kids can't resist
>> Its' seasonal software with a monopolist twist -
>> Recommended by no less than the Jolly Old Elf,
>> On the package, a picture of Santa himself.
>> ["Best Viewed With Internet Explorer(tm)" of course]
>>
>> Get-em young, keep `em long, is the Microsoft Way.
>> And a merger with Santa's a winning stock play.
>> To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
>> Now cash em in, cash em in, cash em in - wow!
>>
>> Now Mama in her nightie, and I in my tee,
>> Had just settled down, to watch WebTV(tm).
>> When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
>> the whirr and the hum of our satellite platter,
>> As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
>> The SANTALITE(tm) owned by that Microsoft guy.
>> As I sprang from the couch and was turning around,
>> My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
>>
>> And there on the screen was a grinning Bill Gates
>> Next to Jolly Old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
>> And I heard them exclaim in a voice oh so bright,
>> have a Microsoft Christmas(tm)
>> AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
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Sharalee M. Field University Hall 11
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Faculty of Arts and Sciences 617.495.8257 (Voice)
Harvard University 617.495.7881 (Fax)</color>
