[2206] in Humor
HUMOR: Politically Correct Xmas
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Mon Dec 15 14:31:59 1997
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 1997 14:26:44 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, mgshea@aol.com, wheger@wbc-architects.com,
Kris_Kelly@notes.pw.com, jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU,
dahv@MIT.EDU, jsquill@MIT.EDU, mtsai@bqa.com, immer@MIT.EDU,
jack.gingras@ae.ge.com, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>X-Sender: ckent@pop.fas.harvard.edu
>X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Pro Version 3.0.3 (32)
>Date: Mon, 15 Dec 1997 14:19:49 -0500
>To: mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu, sharalee_field@harvard.edu
>From: Celia Kent <<celia_kent@harvard.edu>
>Subject: A bit of PC x-mas cheer (fwd)
>
>>
>>A Politically Correct Christmas
>>
>>'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
>>How to live in a world that's politically correct?
>>His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
>>"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
>>And labor conditions at the north pole
>>Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
>>Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the
>>wilds by the Humane Society.
>>And equal employment had made it quite clear
>>That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
>>So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
>>Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
>>
>>The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
>>The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
>>And people had started to call for the cops
>>When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
>>
>>Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
>>His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
>>And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
>>Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
>>And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
>>Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
>>So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
>>Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
>>
>>Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
>>Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
>>And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
>>That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
>>
>>Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
>>Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
>>Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
>>Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
>>Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
>>Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
>>Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
>>Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
>>No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
>>Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
>>
>>And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
>>Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
>>For they raised the hackles of those psychological
>>Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
>>
>>No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
>>Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
>>Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
>>And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
>>
>>So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
>>He just could not figure out what to do next.
>>He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
>>But you've got to be careful with that word today.
>>
>>His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
>>Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
>>Something special was needed, a gift that he might
>>Give to all without angering the left or the right.
>>
>>A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
>>Each group of people, every religion;
>>Every ethnicity, every hue,
>>Everyone, everywhere...even you.
>>So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
>>"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
>>
>>
>>-------------------
>>Overflow-To: BJO01@venable.com (O'Connor, Brian J.),
>> GAZ01@venable.com (Zachariah, G. Abe),
>> JNixdorf@venable.com (Nixdorff, John S.),
>> LBB01@venable.com (Barr, Louis B.),
>> AJF02@venable.com (Finkelstein, Anita J.),
>> cdhughes@venable.com (Hughes, Cheryl),
>> DAJ02@venable.com (Johnson, Dawn A.),
>> JCHardwi@venable.com (Hardwick, John C., Jr.),
>> pmartyres@venable.com (Martyres, Patricia),
>> MLH04@venable.com (House, Marcia L.),
>> 103623.473@compuserve.com (PII - Katie Boggia),
>> 70670.2174@CompuServe.COM (Chris Hall),
>> ARLaitman@aol.com (Andrew Laitman),
>> awaters@VEDP.state.va.us (Waters, Amy),
>> BellG@aetna.com (Bell, Gretchen),
>> bkadish@ix.netcom.com (bkadish),
>> bobby2x@powerweb.net ('Bobby Sturm'),
>> Brucej@curthax.com (Bruce Johnson),
>> DKADISH@uga.cc.uga.edu (Doris Kadish),
>> doclark@rssm.com (Clark, Donald O.),
>> gberish@BUCKCONSULTANTS.COM (gberish),
>> gjr@usa.net (Gregory J. Rosenthal),
>> gmamlet@etravelsystems.com (gmamlet),
>> jbacon7162@aol.com (PII - Jill Bacon),
>> kcribbs@aloha.net (aloha ken cribbs),
>> kellyalynch@juno.com (Kelly A Lynch),
>> Patrick.Reilly@FTA.DOT.GOV (Pat Reilly),
>> philene@compuserve.com ('Philene Gotsis'),
>> pwraglan@rssm.com ('Patricia W. Ragland'),
>> Robertkent@aol.com ('Kent, Robert'),
>> SDiBonaventura@duanemorris.com (SDiBonaventura),
>> Sopko_grf@ccsva.ctstateu.edu (PII - Gretchen Sopko),
>> ssjutkow@rssm.com (Jutkowitz, Stanley S.)
>>
>Celia Kent
>tel 495-5606, fax 495-7881, email celia_kent@harvard.edu
>
>
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Sharalee M. Field University Hall 11
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Faculty of Arts and Sciences 617.495.8257 (Voice)
Harvard University 617.495.7881 (Fax)</color>
