[2201] in Humor
viruses
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Yelya)
Mon Dec 8 12:34:23 1997
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 12:26:27 EST
From: Yelya <yelya@MIT.EDU>
Lorena Bobbit Virus
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
Tonya Harding Virus
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
Paul Revere Virus
Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus
Instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1 Meg, bills you through her law
firm, and erases all details of the transaction.
Ollie North Virus
Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files
Joey Buttafuaco Virus
Only attacks minor files
Michael Jackson Virus
Preys on child processes
Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored
Jane Fonda Virus
Attacks your hard drive's FAT.
Oprah Winfrey virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly
expands to 300MB
AT&T Virus
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI Virus
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
AT&T virus.
Politically Correct Virus
Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an
"electronic microorganism."
Ross Perot
Virus Activates every component in your system, just before the whole
darn thing quits.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Bill Clinton Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does
practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part
of your computer, then erases all history files.
Adam and Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.
Congressional Virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing
on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Congressional Virus #2
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the
user to accomplish anything.
Airline Virus
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or, becomes very
jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.
PBS Virus
Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus
Your programs can never be found again.
LAPD Virus
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases
them in "self-defense."
O.J. Virus
It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of
your files and vows to find the virus that did it
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