[2174] in Humor
HUMOR: It says "For any purpose"
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Victor P Morales)
Fri Oct 24 18:39:42 1997
From: Victor P Morales <vicmoral@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997 18:28:00 EDT
------- Forwarded Message
From: Connie Kleinjans <connie@nanospace.com>
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
From: Merlyn Liberty <merlyn@swcp.com>
(Someone received a copy of the following at her law firm. It
purports to be true. For those of you who don't know, a "deposition"
is a transcript of pre-trial testimony. These transcripts tend to be
thick documents.)
To: all attorneys
Subject: Depositions and Their Use
A friend sent me the following portion of a transcript, which was
confirmed with one of the counsel involved (Ms. Olschner) and
subsequently posted on Lexis Counsel Connect. The transcript is from
Birmingham, Alabama, although the use of a deposition of a party
opponent "for any purpose" is also in the federal rules. We have no
word on what had happened immediately prior to this exchange:
The Court: Next witness.
Ms. Olschner: Your Honor, at this time I would like to swat Mr. Buck
in the head with his client's deposition.
The Court: You mean read it?
Ms. Olschner: No, sir. I mean to swat him [in] the head with it.
Pursuant to Rule 32, I may use the deposition "for any purpose" and
that is the purpose for which I want to use it.
The Court: Well, it does say that.
(Pause.)
The Court: There being no objection, you may proceed.
Ms. Olschner: Thank you, Judge Hanes.
(Whereupon Ms. Olschner swatted Mr. Buck in the head with a
deposition.)
Mr. Buck: But Judge...
The Court: Next witness.
Mr. Buck: We object.
The Court: Sustained. Next witness.
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Submitted By: Christopher Barkley
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