[2122] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: It's the law!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Fri Jun 27 09:41:08 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 27 Jun 1997 09:38:06 EDT
Date: Thu, 26 Jun 1997 23:42:52 -0700
From: Connie Kleinjans <connie@nanospace.com>
From: rocky@hal.com (Rochelle Grober)
Forwarded message from loki@asgard.hal.com (Peter Diprete)
ACTUAL LAWS FROM A VARIETY OF PLACES IN THE UNITED STATES
Excerpts from Private Pilot, November 1987 (reposted by a frequent
flyer)
It is against the law for a pilot to tickle a female flying student
under her chin with a feather duster in order to get her attention.
--Columbia,PA
It is a violation for a woman over 200 pounds and attired in shorts to
pilot or ride in an airplane.
--Pocataligo, GA
Lingerie can't be hung on a clothesline at the airport unless the
undies are carefully hidden from prying eyes by a "suitable screen".
--Kidderville, NH
No female shall appear in a bathing suit at any airport in this state
unless she is escorted by two officers or unless she is armed with a
club. The provisions of this statue shall not apply to females
weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it
apply to female horses.
--Kentucky
It is a violation of local law for any pilot or passenger to carry an
ice cream cone in their pocket while either flying or waiting to board
a plane.
--Lowes Crossroads, Delaware
Pilots and passengers are prohibited from eating onions between the
hours of 7 A.M. and 7 P.M.
--Bluff, Utah
Citizens are not allowed to enter an airplane within four hours of
eating garlic.
--Wakefield, RI
No female wearing a nightgown can be taken for a flight on a private
plane.
--Headland, AL
It is against the law to eat ice cream in the local airport with a
fork.
--Bicknell, IN
No married man can go flying on Sunday.
--Burdoville, VT
No married man can go flying without his spouse along at any time,
unless he has been married for more than 12 months.
--West Union, OH
No one can play cards on the airport grounds with a woman, a child, or
an Indian.
--White Horse, NM
No one -- man, woman, or child -- can be seen flying while barefoot.
--Fairplay, CO
Don't let your horse fall asleep in the airport.
--Peewee, West Virginia
Women who are single, widowed, or divorced are banned from parachuting
on Sunday.
--Crawford, Nebraska
No turtle races shall be held at the airport.
--Bourbon, Mississippi
People cannot play checkers at the airport, "lest they acquire a taste
for gambling."
--Clearbrook, Minnesota
Citizens cannot carry a slingshot on an airplane without special
permission.
--Okanogan, WA
No pilot can eat unshelled roasted peanuts or watermelon while flying.
--Leadwood, Missouri
No person is allowed to read the Sunday paper while sitting in a chair
at the airport while church services are going on.
--Upperville, VA
No flyer may wear a pair of pants with hip pockets while flying.
--Guyman, OK
Gargling is prohibited while flying.
--Hackberry, Arizona
Loud burping while walking around the airport is prohibited.
--Halstead, Kansas
It is against the law to sneeze in an airplane.
--Lynch Heights, Delaware
No flying instructor "can place his arm around a woman without a good
and lawful reason" (while flying).
--Rock Springs, WY
Juggling in front of an airplane is illegal.
--Wellsboro, PA
Roosters may crow, only if it is done at least 300 feet from the
airport.
--Stugis, Michigan
