[2100] in Humor
HUMOR: The Darwin Awards Runners-up
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Fri Jun 6 11:36:00 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 06 Jun 1997 11:32:42 EDT
Date: Fri, 06 Jun 1997 09:14:28 -0500
From: Joe Ziehler <ziehler@psicorp.com>
THE DARWIN AWARDS are given every year to bestow upon (the remains of)
that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done
the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
Runners-up:
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[AP, Mammoth Lakes] A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a
lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the
slope on a foam pad, authorities said.
Matthew David Hubal, 22, was pronounced dead at Centinela Mammoth
Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County
Sheriff's Department said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump
Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from the lift towers, said
Lieutenant Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department.
The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit the towers. The
group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal
crashed into a tower. It was not clear if the tower he hit was one
with its pad removed.
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[AP, St. Louis] Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a
St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo
grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without
paying for it.
Police found him unconscious in front of the store: paramedics removed
the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death.
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[Unknown] To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above
him on an overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when it fell on
him.
=========================== Special Merit ===========================
[Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA] Blasting Cap Explodes in Man's
Mouth at Party
A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down,
triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue,
state police said Wednesday.
Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during
a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne.
"Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was
trying to explode it," Payne said. "It wouldn't go off and this guy
said, "I'll show you how to set it off."
"He put it in his mouth and bit down. It blew all his teeth off, his
tongue and his lips," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded
condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a
spokesman at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
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[UPI, Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's University Hospital said
Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is
lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital.
Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation
into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants Pass,
Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow
entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1
millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut and
Roberts would have died instantly.
Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in
Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the
tip protruding at the rear of his skill, yet somehow managed to miss
all major blood vessels.
Delashaw also said had Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own
he surely would have killed himself.
Roberts admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that
afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."
No charges have been filed but the Josephine County district
attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.
