[2032] in Humor
HUMOR: The Truth
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Sun Apr 20 01:04:57 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sun, 20 Apr 1997 01:01:50 EDT
From: "Mark A. Herschberg" <hershey@MIT.EDU>
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 1997 15:35:13 -0400
From: Jonathan Cherry <jcherry@zoo.uvm.edu>
(fade in to a stately looking lecture hall, rain is pounding the
>> windows and thunder crashes sporadically)
>>
>> professor: ...you, Mr....um...Smyth? Can you tell me what Rousseau
>> was getting at in the readings?
>>
>> student: Well sir, I didn't get quite that far in the--
>>
>> prof: Dammit! I'm tired of your excuses. Everyday you walk into
>> this classroom sleepy-eyed and unprepared. Not once have you come
>> up anything that even remotely resembled an answer.
>>
>> stu: You want answers?
>>
>> prof: I think I'm entitled to one.
>>
>> stu: You want answers?!
>>
>> prof: I want the truth!
>>
>> stu: You can't handle the truth!! (dramatic pause) Sir, we live in
>> a world that has parties, and these parties have to be attended by
>> men with cups. Who's gonna do it? You? You Mr. Teaching
>> Assistant? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly
>> fathom. You read your little textbooks and you curse the
>> fraternities. You have that luxury; you have the luxury of not
>> knowing what i know: that my partying, while grotesque and
>> incomprehensible to you, saves lives. We use words like
>> "keg-stand"," beer-bong", "shotgun." We use these words as the
>> backbone of a life spent drinking something. You use them as a
>> punchline. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain
>> myself to a man who rises and sleeps underneath the blanket of the
>> very inebriation that I provide. I'd rather you said thank you and
>> went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mug, and
>> start to chug. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think
>> you're entitled to!
>>
>> prof: Did you fail to do the work?
>>
>> stu: I did my job, I'd do it--
>>
>> prof: DID YOU FAIL TO DO THE WORK?
>>
>> stu: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!
>>
