[2020] in Humor
HUMOR: Sniglets
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon Apr 14 09:40:51 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 14 Apr 1997 09:30:42 EDT
Date: Sun, 13 Apr 1997 23:51:57 -0700
From: Connie Kleinjans <connie@interserve.com>
From: Paul Farley <72253.3153@CompuServe.COM>
From: Laine Tammer, INTERNET:lainet@verilink.com
Editor's note:
2 of these terms actually *do* already exist in English. See Footnote
===================================================
Here's a list of 10 words that do not exist, but ought to:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the
bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of
running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching
over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the
vacuum one more chance.
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you
dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow "remove"
all the germs.
4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto
the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally
decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here"
spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal"
side.
7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground
pepper.
8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number
and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
9. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog
presses its nose to it.
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when
you're six inches away.
=========================================================
Footnote:
AQUADEXTROUS:
misspelled. Should be: AQUADIXTROUS. And I been that for years....;)
LACTOMANGULATION
does exist in English. Clinical psychology term. Also used by marriage
counselors.
