[1987] in Humor
TidBITS Editors: TidBITS#373/01-Apr-97
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++)
Tue Apr 1 13:43:04 1997
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 01 Apr 1997 13:09:46 EST
From: +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ <jefreypu@MIT.EDU>
I found this kind of mildly amusing :)
TidBITS#373/01-Apr-97
=====================
EXCLUSIVE! Hot on the heels of Oracle CEO Larry Ellison's public
speculation of a hostile takeover of Apple, Steve Jobs announces
the merger of Apple and Pixar, Jobs's successful animation
company. In this special issue, we also unveil a host of
behind-the-six-colored-curtain information, including sale
of the Newton and PowerBook divisions, new technologies for
Rhapsody, a TidBITS global reorganization, rumors of Cyberdog
abuses, and more.
Topics:
MailBITS/01-Apr-97
Apple Goes Hollywood
Waxing Rhapsodic: New Technologies from Apple
The TidBITS Channel
Internet Merchandising Takes Off
The PowerBook Secret
TidBITS Web Surfing Party Game
<http://www.tidbits.com/tb-issues/TidBITS-373.html>
<ftp://ftp.tidbits.com/pub/tidbits/issues/1997/TidBITS#373_01-Apr-97.etx>
Copyright 1997 TidBITS Electronic Publishing. All rights reserved.
Information: <info@tidbits.com> Comments: <editors@tidbits.com>
---------------------------------------------------------------
This issue of TidBITS sponsored in part by:
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MailBITS/01-Apr-97
- ------------------
**New PowerBooks** -- Just after the release of the PowerBook
3400, dubbed "the world's fastest portable" by Apple, comes the
PowerBook 1000, codenamed Falcon. Announced on 01-Apr-97 and
bearing the affectionate slogan "the fastest hunk of junk in the
galaxy," the PowerBook 1000 is based on the diminutive PowerBook
100 design and features a 320 MHz low-power PowerPC 620 CPU, 80 MB
of RAM, a 2 GB hard disk, a hot-swappable removable storage bay
that supports a CD-ROM drive, Zip drive, or floppy drive, and ten
hours of battery life on trilithium resin battery technology.
Unique to the PowerBook 1000 is generalized wireless communication
technology that enables the machine to act as a pager or cellular
telephone, or to connect to the Internet via a wireless modem at
speeds up to 53 Kbps. Prices are expected to start at $1,500.
[ECA]
<http://product.info.apple.com/productinfo/datasheets/pt/pb1000.html>
**Double the Trouble** -- Connectix recently announced the latest
in its Doubler suite, a new browser plug-in called JAVADoubler
(formerly known by its code name, DoubleShot). Slated for release
on 01-Apr-97, the plug-in downloads all Java applets twice. Using
special parallel download technology described by engineers as
"caffeinated to the max," the double download takes no longer than
a normal, single download. Why download two copies? Well,
JAVADoubler doesn't stop percolating its magic once the copies are
downloaded. Using memory buffering technology borrowed from RAM
Doubler, JAVADoubler monitors the first download's activities, and
when the applet crashes or hits an offending instruction,
JAVADoubler moves operations over to the second downloaded copy.
While that copy continues to run, JAVADoubler quickly downloads
another copy. We applaud Connectix for its continuing efforts to
help users catch up to the ever-rushing train of technological
change. [EJT]
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.connectix.com/>
**Cyberdog Abused?** Rumors are circulating on the net that the
real reason for the demise of Apple's OpenDoc technology was due
to allegations made by an organization calling itself the Animal
Internet Rights Foundation (AIRF) about Apple's mishandling of
Cyberdog. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We received
reports that Cyberdog was repeatedly hacked, delayed, and not
given proper resources." AIRF investigators are also reportedly
looking into the conduct of programmers Peter Lewis (in regard to
his domestication of the Anarchie kangaroo), and Jim Matthews (for
not paying enough attention to the Fetch dog). The University of
Minnesota could not be reached for comment regarding its treatment
of the gopher in the almost-defunct TurboGopher. Some have
suggested that the decline of the Gopher technology was related to
cutbacks in the University of Minnesota's gopher food budget.
[ECA]
**Mac Attack** -- In a swift and decisive move, Symantec
Corporation announced that it would purchase game developer Id
Software for an undisclosed sum. Id, creator of popular "blast-
and-run" games such as Doom and Quake, immediately issued a press
release disclosing that negotiations had been "relatively
bloodless (ha ha)." Symantec's first offering from its new
Chainsaw/Cutting Edge department will be a revised version of
Norton Utilities for Macintosh entitled NUM-Cruncher, in which
users will be able to run through virtual 3D "corridors" of their
hard disks in real-time, blasting bad sectors and setting fire to
corrupted B-tree branches. [CLJ]
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.symantec.com/>
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.idsoftware.com/>
**TidBITS Announces Reorganization** -- Following in the footsteps
of such industry leaders as Apple Computer, TidBITS today
announced plans to lay off thousands of employees. "It's a bit
like selling a stock short," explained TidBITS publisher Adam
Engst. "First we lay off the employees, take advantage of a
massive tax write-off, and then we can use the money to hire
them." TidBITS also announced a shareholders meeting to be held
this time next year; bring a dessert to share. [ECA]
**Smoking Newtons, Batman!** After a flurry of industry
speculation about the fate of its underappreciated handheld
technology, Apple has sold its Newton line to the highest bidder,
the RJR Nabisco Holdings Corp. (RN), parent company of the
independently traded Nabisco, Inc. (NA) and creator of cigarette
lines Camel, Winston, and Salem. As a result of the sale,
Nabisco's well-known Fig Newton line will gain a new member - the
Cig Newton.
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.nabisco.com/Townhall/
FunFacts/NEWTONS.html>
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.triadonline.com/rjrt/>
Cig Newtons will feature a special compartment for storing
cigarettes. An RJR representative commented that "too many
potential smokers use PDAs but don't want the inconvenience of
carrying around a PDA and a cigarette pack. By giving customers
cigarettes and a PDA in one handy package, we think we can
convince adults to try smoking and turn a huge profit." The
representative had no comment when asked if the new Newtons would
ship with a program that automatically recorded cigarette usage
and charted the increasing risk of health problems. Additionally,
no comment was offered when asked if the company would offer a
similar Cig Newton aimed at children, based on the eMate design
and sporting a Joe Camel face. Rumor has it that RJR is currently
negotiating a technology alliance that would enable it to add a
"flick-top" Bic lighter technology to future models. [EJT]
**Kinko's, The New Way to Verb** -- If you don't possession at
home the software or hardware you requirement to completion a job,
automobile down to your nearest Kinko's, where you'll discovery a
row of Macs cargoed with a good selection of fonts and software,
plus some great printers. Everything is all arrangemented so that
at the end a time slip is printered enumerationing your charges.
I've employmented this service on a number of occasions and I
consideration it fun and easy; if you entrance at an odd time
(such the middle of the night) you can just chair down and
commencement working without competitioning for a computer. [NAM]
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.kinkos.com/>
Apple Goes Hollywood
- --------------------
by Grubuen Ttam <matt@tidbits.com>
In a move that surprised all but the cagiest industry analysts, it
was announced this week that Apple Computer, Inc., had been
acquired by Pixar Animation Studios. Apple promptly laid off its
entire development staff, plus David Krathwohl and the whole
Developer Relations department, hiring in their place on permanent
retainer a number of film stars including Jim Carrey, Jeff
Goldblum, Roy Scheider, and others who have been seen using Apple
computers in movies over the years. According to former CEO (now
Vice President of Rhetorical Affairs) Gil Amelio, Apple will
henceforth confine its activities to star-studded, high-tech
animated multimedia presentations at conventions and stockholder
meetings.
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.pixar.com/>
"This was the real reason we bought NeXT [Software, Inc.], but we
couldn't announce it until the details were finalized," Amelio
said. "We needed to leverage the animation expertise of Pixar, and
this was the only way Steve [Steven P. Jobs, CEO of both NeXT and
Pixar] was going to let us at it. We save NeXT, he saves Apple: it
was a simple quid pro quo."
"It was a completely logical move, which I'd been contemplating
ever since I joined the board of directors [in 1994]," Amelio went
on. "I looked at Apple's work over the last five years or so and
saw immediately that Apple was really in the business of giving
demos about technology that they never had and never intended to
release. People were shelling out big bucks to watch this stuff at
Macworld Expo and the World Wide Developers Conference. For a
while early on it had looked like folks might catch on to the fact
that all the so-called demos were just animations, but we started
interspersing occasional screen shots of MacsBug and the critics
went wild."
"Meanwhile, the actual development effort had become a complete
financial sinkhole," Amelio continued. "I realized quickly that we
could save a lot of time and expenditure by cutting development
out altogether. Computers and entertainment have been linked from
the start; Apple has been marketing computer-based fiction for
years and now we're going into it full time."
Ellen Hancock, executive vice president of research and
development, will remain with Apple to help plan the scenarios of
future animations, in which Apple, in an ongoing soap opera, will
portray a Silicon Valley corporation desperately coming up with
ever-whackier technologies in an effort to stay afloat. Hancock
will be assisted by Walter S. Mossberg, formerly of the Wall
Street Journal, who will serve as chief editor and head writer.
Apple's move was enthusiastically received by the press, who, in a
frenzy of interviewing one another as usual after the press
conference, looked forward to ripping Apple's new fictional
company to shreds. Steve Jobs, now CEO of Apple as well as Pixar
and NeXT, was unavailable for comment.
Waxing Rhapsodic: New Technologies from Apple
- ---------------------------------------------
by Nacnud Ffoeg <geoff@tidbits.com>
In an effort to reassure the Macintosh developer community in the
wake of recent layoffs and restructuring, Apple Computer has been
privately demonstrating a host of cutting-edge new technologies
slated to appear in its forthcoming NeXT-based operating system,
codenamed Rhapsody. Though none of these new features have been
finalized, TidBITS was fortunate enough to attend one of Apple's
sneak previews for programmers and developers, and the
demonstrations were truly spectacular instances of Apple
showmanship.
**Also Known As...** System 7 first introduced Macintosh users to
aliases, tiny files that point back to an original item, like a
program, document, folder, or disk. Rhapsody will take aliases to
the next level by integrating them with both the Appearance
Manager (scheduled to appear in Mac OS 8) and Macintosh Easy Open,
enabling Rhapsody users to work in a predominantly Windows or Unix
environment without being detected. "We've heard about sites,
particularly in corporate America, where Mac users are being
forced to give up their Macs and switch to another platform," said
an Apple representative. "Rhapsody's new Alias Manager lets these
Apple customers continue to use their Macintoshes in those
environments under an assumed identity." The new Alias Manager,
codenamed AKA, can give a Macintosh the appearance of a Windows
95, Windows NT, or Sun OS operating system, complete with
functional interface elements, all tied to customized hot keys
that let Macintosh users switch between interfaces when their
supervisors have left the room. Although the new Alias Manager
cannot fully emulate other operating systems, it's smart enough to
know when its out of its league, and simulates a disk problem,
network error, program crash, or other commonplace event for the
simulated operating system if it gets too close to its limits. "At
no point does it give away that you're using a Mac." When asked
how many users are expected to rely on the new Alias Manager, an
Apple spokesperson declined to give specific figures, but
predicted large numbers, especially after a planned alliance with
the Federal Witness Protection Program, noting Apple was already
planning an advertising campaign for the year 2000, entitled
"We're everywhere."
**How Does That Make You Feel?** Recognizing that modern operating
systems are becoming increasingly sophisticated and difficult to
deal with, Apple also demonstrated an early version of the Empathy
Manager, codenamed Troi, which lets the Macintosh running Rhapsody
use a PlainTalk microphone and a video camera (like a Connectix
QuickCam) to sense and respond to a user's moods and emotions. If
the user is in a good mood, the Empathy Manager will change the
screen's appearance to happy colors, change the system beep to
joyous tones, and even make the Internet work faster. If you're in
a bad mood, the Empathy Manager will try to be supportive,
offering to open windows, edit email, let the user win a few games
of solitaire, or even suggest a well-deserved nap. Like many of
Rhapsody's technologies, the Empathy Manager is Internet-ready;
using a protocol called ThinkTalk, Macs with the Telepathy Manager
can pool mood information about their users, enabling them to more
effectively formulate work strategies, delay email that might
upset their user, or even request prescription medication via a
secure Web server.
**Internet for the Rest Of Us** -- Although Apple recently
discontinued its Performa brand of computers, Rhapsody is
scheduled to include technologies specifically intended for low-
end, non-technical Macintosh users. First among these is
GeekWatch, an Internet utility designed to filter out confusing
and overly technical information on the Internet. "The Web offers
a vast amount of information, but a lot of that information isn't
relevant to many non-technical professions, like hairdressers,
rock musicians, and marketing executives," said an Apple
representative. GeekWatch monitors information as it comes into
your computer from the Internet and compares it to a user profile
built up gradually from the contents of Internet sites visited by
a particular user. If the content of a site is deemed too
technical, that data is blocked by GeekWatch. As an example,
someone who was mainly interested in gardening information who
accidently loaded a Web page on Java programming, a GeekWatch
dialog appears with a smiley-face icon and the phrase "This site
blocked by GeekWatch!" (Version 1.1 will include translations for
technical terms; in the previous example, an Apple Guide window
would appear beneath the smiley-face icon, explaining that Java is
"essentially another term for coffee, which programmers need to
survive." At this point, the Empathy Manager could kick in and
suggest that the user go brew a cup.) The Apple representative
commented, "We think this will make the Internet less intimidating
for real people, and have a beneficial side effect of letting real
geeks talk to each other without confusing anyone."
**The Blame Game** -- Finally, the most fundamental - and perhaps
most controversial - new functionality scheduled to appear in
Rhapsody is the Conspiracy Manager, a comprehensive set of low-
level object classes designed to handle errors and crashes for all
programs and services. The Conspiracy Manager allows programmers
to have extensive control over the appearance, timing, and impacts
of their errors. With the preemptive multitasking capabilities
provided by Rhapsody's Mach kernel, errors and crashes can appear
to be caused by any program or software component running under
Rhapsody. Thus, a programmer could release a program that blamed
all its crashes on the ever-popular whipping boy Microsoft Word,
Java, the dreaded "extension conflict," or even a particular
Internet site. Acknowledging that the best way to hide a
conspiracy is to admit to it up front, Apple representatives
declined to comment on how the Conspiracy Manager might make
Macintosh use less intuitive for users, although they did note
that Apple had to conform to industry standards for software
problems, and the Conspiracy Manager was vital to the job security
of technical support workers around the world. Apple
representatives also refused to comment on whether Apple was
considering licensing the Conspiracy Manager to other companies.
"Um...," the Apple rep nodded. "Could be."
The TidBITS Channel
- -------------------
by Tsgne .C Mada <ace@tidbits.com>
We at TidBITS have long been proponents of the theory that we
should provide TidBITS in as many ways as possible for our
readers. Unlike other publications, which limit themselves to the
Web, we've long supported email, FTP, and Usenet news. That's why,
when Intermind announced its Intermind Communicator product last
year, we started publishing TidBITS that way as well, even though
the Macintosh version of the product hadn't yet shipped.
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.intermind.com/prod_demo/
version_need.html>
We've also been trying to separate our organization from the
TidBITS newsletter slightly - you might have noticed our copyright
notice for "TidBITS Electronic Publishing." All of these moves
have come in preparation for our latest announcement, the TidBITS
Channel!
**Shove Technology** -- The TidBITS Channel will take advantage of
the very latest in Internet technology - so-called "shove"
technology, which was designed specifically for information with
an attitude. We feel that shove technology is the logical
extension of the initial "pull" technology of the Web, where users
had to go get everything manually, and the "push" technology used
by companies such as Intermind, PointCast, Marimba, and BackWeb.
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.intermind.com/>
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.pointcast.com/>
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.marimba.com/>
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.backweb.com/>
So, thanks to our use of shove technology, when you turn on your
computer in the morning, an avatar (we're in negotiations with
Chicago Bulls "bad boy" Dennis Rodman) will appear on screen and
begin a dialog with you. "Hey bud, move back from the screen - yer
crowding me," it will say. If you don't do as it asks (or at
random times even if you do), it will invite you to step outside,
saying, 'You wanna piece of me? Huh? Whatsa matter, sucker, you
scared?" Once you've been sufficiently cowed, the avatar will get
down to business. "Read this, dork!"
We have high hopes for the future of shove technology - some
joystick manufacturers have already signed up to provide physical
feedback devices that will be able to simulate those initial
shoves before a fight starts for real. Future enhancements to
these devices will be able to simulate the feeling of being thrown
against a wall and having a chair broken over your head.
But enough about the nuts and bolts behind the TidBITS Channel,
let's look at our new content. We've been watching a lot of
syndicated television recently, and have "borrowed" a few ideas
from our favorite shows.
**Martha Stewart Macintosh Makeover** -- Everyone loves and envies
uber-homemaker Martha Stewart, and we convinced her to broaden her
horizons past projects that help you filter your compost and teach
you how to make delicious desserts and centerpieces from the parts
that haven't yet fully decayed. On this show, Martha will
demonstrate how to use a soldering iron to stencil those cute
little geese onto the side of your Macintosh so it matches your
curtains, how to French-braid your cables to avoid that ugly cable
nest behind the computer, and other fun projects that anyone can
do, given a week or two of concentrated effort with Martha
standing over your shoulder with a whip.
**BitWatch** -- This new show will star ex-Apple employees who
don't have anything better to do while working off their five-
month severance packages. Each week will focus on a different,
recently eliminated Apple technology and the team that had been
working on it. Of course, everyone on the cast will wear only
small bits of clothing, and the show will be set on Silicon Beach.
**Tonya: CodeWarrior Princess** -- TidBITS Senior Editor Tonya
Engst has always wanted to branch out into fantasy, and she gets
her chance in this new show. Dressed up in a skimpy leather and
metal outfit with a very large sword, Tonya roams Silicon Valley
with her wise-cracking sidekick Ebbe (Even Better Bus Error),
protecting innocent memory and battling evil big-endian overlords,
CISC wizards, foul daemons, and other 3D-rendered terrors.
Preliminary ratings and usability studies indicate a spin-off
series (Colonel Mach: Justice Server) might get the go-ahead for
next season.
**TidBITS Swimsuit Channel** -- Not to be left behind in the
annual fuss over the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, we've
decided to do our own swimsuit issue, complete with swimsuit
pictures of some of your editors in exotic locales. Of course,
being as sensitive as we are to the bandwidth problems on the Web,
we've come up with a clever way to present these images for your
viewing pleasure. Check them out on our Web site! (Warning! These
images have not been rated by the RSAC Ratings Service.)
<http://www.tidbits.com/photos/swimsuit.html>
Internet Merchandising Takes Off
- --------------------------------
by Tsgne .C Mada <ace@tidbits.com>
We've all watched fads turn into trends and crumble under the
withering heat of reality. Most of these fadlets (trendlets?)
suffer because they don't work, or perhaps no one's willing to
ante up even a small amount of money for the resulting products.
An argument could be made that Web browsers fall into this
category.
However, recent announcements from the leaders in the 1997
Internet Press Release Championships, Netscape Communications and
Microsoft Corporation, hold promise for some truly successful new
products.
As everyone knows, making money on the Internet is generally a
losing proposition. Most of the money made so far has been in
advertising, and if you look closely, you'll realize that the same
companies are both accepting ads and buying them on other sites.
In other words, money is staying in the system. Researchers at
Cornell University's Johnson School of Management believe they've
uncovered a relationship that implies that all money on the
Internet will be conserved and recycled, much as water from the
oceans evaporates, moves around in the atmosphere, returns to
earth in the form of precipitation, and washes back down to the
oceans.
Unwilling to accept this theory, the Internet economics engineers
at Netscape Communications (well known for engineering Netscape's
1996 IPO (initial public offering) that showed that money really
does grow on trees hydroponically raised in the dark sewers of New
York City under Wall Street) have come up with a new money-making
idea that's sure to succeed.
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.netscape.com/>
Netscape's mascot, before the company became too stuffy to have a
mascot, was the lovable Mozilla, a Godzilla-like creature born in
the minds of the early Netscape programmers from watching too many
bad science-fiction movies while writing NCSA Mosaic, Netscape
Navigator's predecessor. In an effort to capitalize on the
Netscape name, Netscape plans a line of Mozilla action figures,
including a plastic Mozilla that can melt AOL floppy disks with
the addition of common household items such as matches and an
aerosol can. Another Mozilla will be a large plush stuffed animal
that can repeat several phrases, including "See you on
alt.dinosaur.barney.die.die.die!" and "Bill Gates is a weenie."
In response, industry juggernaut Microsoft announced that it has
had a line of action figures in the works for some time, the first
of which will of course be the Bill Gates action figure, available
for free download on the Internet to anyone who can figure out how
to download an action figure. A Steve Ballmer action figure that
froths at the mouth while talking about the Macintosh is planned
for the fifth quarter of this year.
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.microsoft.com/>
Microsoft also announced the IAFS, or the Internet Action Figure
Standard, and said that it would be turning the standard over to
the IETF to show that it wasn't really interested in controlling
the world. A spokesman for the IETF sounded confused when asked
about the IETF's plans for the IAFS. "The what?" he asked.
The nascent IAFS has already come under fire from Internet
security experts after a class of third graders at Benedict Arnold
Elementary School near Burlington, Vermont, uncovered a security
hole in the Bill Gates Action Figure using a networked pool of
eMate 300s. Unfortunately, because TidBITS is a family publication
(and was already cited once under the Communications Decency Act
in 1996 - see TidBITS-321_), we can't provide additional details
about the security hole. Microsoft promises a fix but has not yet
given a date when it will be available.
Other computer industry companies refused to comment on their
action figure strategies, although rumor has it that Apple plans
to release a Steve Jobs action figure (based on the G.I. Joe
action figure with the karate chop arm) once engineers can figure
out how to miniaturize a PowerBook sufficiently to please Jobs,
who reportedly said that any Steve Jobs action figure must include
a fully functional, no-compromises PowerBook.
The PowerBook Secret
- --------------------
by Tsgne Aynot <tonya@tidbits.com>
Although much of Apple was acquired by Pixar Animations Studio
(see the related article earlier in this issue), some hardware
divisions were sold off. In a move that surprised many industry
analysts, the PowerBook division was exchanged for a $1 million
gem-encrusted brassiere (reportedly now worn by Ellen Hancock in
Apple/Pixar soaps) and will now be under the control of the well-
known lingerie chain, Victoria's Secret.
Said Kelly Kahn, VP of Technology Acquisitions, "Modern women
don't just want to look great, they want to function effectively
in a chaotic, information-rich world. PowerBooks are the
management tool of choice, and we look forward to improving the
line to better meet fashion needs. Take the stylish eMate 300: we
plan to move the PowerBook line in that direction, with more
colorful, fun looking cases, slimmer profiles, and vastly improved
customer support."
In time for Boston Macworld this year, Victoria's Secret plans to
ship a series of HotSurfer PowerBooks. These machines will be
based on the Duo line, but Victoria's Secret has eschewed the use
of numbers to describe machines. Ms. Kahn commented, "We could
have named them with numbers, but we felt that HotSurfer much more
aptly describes the new line." An important innovation in the
HotSurfers will be a second drive bay designed either to hold a
hot-swappable storage device or a special purse. The new
PowerBooks will have strong enough shells that for many events a
protective carrying case won't be necessary. By stowing a wallet
and other essentials in the purse, HotSurfer owners can attend
such events looking "streamlined and elegant," not "burdened with
accessories."
In addition, to help users avoid the awkward look and feel of
operating a computer attached to a snake's nest of cables, the
company is aggressively partnering with technology companies that
support wireless communications.
Victoria's Secret also plans a new line of PowerBook cases. Cassie
Connolly, Director of Accessory Fashions explained, "Most of
today's PowerBook cases operate on a functional level only. Our
customers want cases that express personality or inject a humorous
note. Cases will range from elegant satin or velvet items to
whimsical options, decorated with lace, silk flowers, and faux
fruit." Straw cases will be sold only in warmer climates; look for
quilting and polar fleece in colder areas. The buzz on the street
suggests that a matching line of hats may be in the making.
Perhaps the most exciting part of the buyout, though, is that
every Victoria's Secret store is adding a special PowerBook sales
area right up front. Many big malls have a Victoria's Secret
store, and with the displays slated to combine eye-popping models
holding slick looking PowerBooks, not only should business should
be brisk, but consumers should see the Macintosh portable market
in a more favorable light. Executives at Power Computing are
already working with Victoria's Secret on sublicensing and cross-
marketing deals.
<http://smeg.com/backwards/b2.cgi?url=www.powercc.com/>
Will Victoria's Secret introduce unisex- or male-oriented
PowerBook models? Ms. Kahn noted, "We don't want guys to feel
excluded - sure, our cases will appeal more to women, at least in
the short term. However, we think we can make PowerBooks that
appeal to both sexes. We don't look at our upcoming PowerBooks so
much as for one sex or another, but for people who have fashion
sense or want to look glamorous while computing."
TidBITS Web Surfing Party Game
- ------------------------------
by Noslrac Yerffej <kepi@halcyon.com>
With the recent rise of "Geek culture," the long-held
misperception that computer users are solitary, electronic slaves
is slowly receding like a ten percent drop shadow. Geeks have
asserted for years that they can party as hard as any
testosterone-filled football player. To prove it, we present the
TidBITS Web Surfing Party Game (TBWSPG, pronounced "Fred").
Fred is best experienced in a group setting (say, a rack of office
cubicles at lunchtime), but you can also play at home alone or
networked, of course. To play, choose your favorite drink, connect
to your ISP, and start surfing the Web. Remember to be
responsible, and hand over the mouse when you've drunk too much.
**Drink once if:**
* your modem has to redial when connecting to your ISP (if more
than five times, stop drinking and cancel that darn AOL account
already!).
* you see a "Best Viewed With..." tag (twice if it's animated)
* you get any error message (bad URL, etc.)
* you see an under construction sign
* you view a page with a Web counter (twice if it's a broken
graphic)
* you view a blink tag (not necessary to drink for every blink)
* you come across a Java applet (twice if it doesn't load)
* you see the phrase "cool links"
* a background sound loads (you also must dance with drink in
hand)
* your browser crashes
* you have to resize the browser window
* a graphic doesn't load
**Drink twice if:**
* you hit a JavaScript error
* you arrive at a password-protected site (if you can guess the
password in three tries, collect a dollar from everyone in the
room and chug drink)
* you find a home page purportedly belonging to someone's pet.
* "cool" is spelled "kewl"
* you have to download a plug-in and restart your browser
* the graphics are broken on a Web designer's home pages
**Special:**
* If you hit a Shockwave project, you have to wait to drink until
it's downloaded. (This is a good chance to walk to the store for
more drinks, render 3D images, or write a new operating system.)
$$
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