[1984] in Humor
HUMOR: Funnies
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (mistere@MIT.EDU)
Mon Mar 31 15:27:35 1997
From: <mistere@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 1997 15:12:21 EST
Actual Announcements Taken From Church Bulletins
1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
4. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David
Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the
church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving
milk will please come early.
8. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put
me in My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
9. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
10. This Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg
on the alter.
11. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies
will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
12. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the
new carpet. All wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward
and do so.
13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may
be seen in the church basement Friday.
14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow.
15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
