[1917] in Humor
HUMOR: Frat Humor meets Star Wars
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Fri Feb 28 10:26:23 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 28 Feb 1997 10:18:59 EST
Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 23:25:31 EST
From: "Mark A. Herschberg" <hershey@MIT.EDU>
Resent-From: leekil@BBN.COM
Resent-To: plp@media.mit.edu
Please Read the following passage and the succeeding interpretation:
Luke: "You fought in the clone wars."
Ben: "I was once a Jedi Knight the same as your father."
Luke: "My father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a
space freighter."
Ben: "That's what your Uncle told you. He didn't hold with your
father's ideals. He thought he should stay home. Not gotten involved."
Luke: "I wish I had known him."
Ben: "He was a cunning warrior, and the best star pilot in the galaxy.
I understand you've become quite a good pilot yourself. And he was a good
friend. For over a thousand years the Jedi Knight protected the galaxy.
Before the dark times. Before the Empire"
Luke: "How did my father die?"
Ben: "A young Jedi Knight named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine
until he turned to evil, helped the Emporer hunt down and destroy the Jedi
Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Vader was seduced by the
Dark Side of the Force."
Luke: "The Force?"
Ben: "Yes, the Force is what gives a Jedi Knight his power. It's an
energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us. Penetrates us.
Binds the galaxy together. Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to
have this when you were old enough, but your Uncle wouldn't allow. He
thought you'd follow Obi-Wan on some idealistic crusade."
Luke: "What is it?"
Ben: "It a lightsaber. The weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as random
or clumsy as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age."
******************
Now the interpretation, as a conversation I never want to have with
your son...
******************
Luke: "You were in the Greek System?."
Ben: "I was once a Frat Guy the same as your father."
Luke: "My father didn't belong to a frat. He was a tool, an RA in the
dorms for four years."
Ben: "That's what your mother told you. She didn't hold with your
father's ideals. She thought he should stay home. Not drink until four in
the morning and then piss on things."
Luke: "I wish I had known him, when he could drink."
Ben: "He was a cunning partier, and the best boat-racer in the house.
And he was a good bro. I understand you've become quite a booze hound
yourself. For over five years he got so curbed he could hardly function.
Before the dark times. Before, his skirt."
Luke: "How did my father become a lame ass?"
Ben: "A young chick namely your mother, who was pretty cool herself
until she turned to evil, helped other women hunt down and destroy the
coolness in men. She civilized and murdered the bro who was once your
father. Your mother was pissed off by the dark side of Beer"
Luke: "Beer?"
Ben: [smiles] "Yes, Beer is what gives a frat guy his power. It's a
beverage created by hops and barley.. and shit like that. It fucks us up.
Gives us beer goggles. And lets us yell stuff like "penis" in bars
everywhere. Which reminds me. Your father wanted you to have this when you
were old enough, but your Mother wouldn't allow it. She thought you'd follow
some Frat Brother on some binge drinking crusade."
Luke: "What is it?"
Ben: "Your father's pong paddle. The weapon of a Frat Guy. Not as
random or clumsy as a deck of cards or dice. An elegant weapon for
a less civilized age..."
